Barrows Or Bust!

While the rest of the world was busy going to Germany and Florida and other lame places, the Manly Mustaches got their priorities in order and journeyed to a much more original Spring Break vacation spot. We have a feeling that it will become the hot new hangout for the entire Mustache Nation. I'm speaking, of course, about Barrows, Minnesota, that diamond in the rough just off old 371.

10:50 a.m.: We departed Tom Day's Mustache Mansion. We decided to save Mother Earth some trouble and carpool in the Kuehn family van, re-christened today as The Mustachemobile. We packed up all of our worldly belongings and hit the road, uncertain if we would ever see our beloved Brainerd/Baxter area again.

10:52 a.m.: After an arduous journey of almost 12 miles, Sam and Tom succumbed to exhaustion and collapsed in the back seat.

10:55 a.m.: After what seemed like hours of travel time with no sign of civilization, we spotted a small rural outpost that offered us basic supplies like donut holes, root beer, wild rice, and double-barrled shotgun lighters. Fueled up and stretched out, we kept on keeping on.

10:58 a.m.: At long last, we arrived in the promised land. With the Italians' excellent picture for inspiration, we posed and got what was probably the best picture of the day. Everyone else has their work cut out for them on the Spring Break picture contest. Sir Alex and company, this one's for you.

11:20 a.m.: Drove the streets of Barrows. This vibrant city seemed to hum with activity and life. More than once we had to stop, open the door of the van, and capture the pictauresque natural beauty of this peaceful, idyllic, pastoral scene of arcadian revelry. We even caught sight of a few native Barrowinians.

(If you look closely, you can see a bike hanging from the tree)

11:25 a.m.: By following clearly marked signs, we located possibly the only public building in Barrows: Crow Wing Town Hall, or something like that. Our hopes of finding a brochure with information about Barrows were dashed when we found the door locked. We posted a memorial for Rupert, and Muslim Magic got a bit emotional.

11:30 a.m.:Next door was the future site of Township Park. From the looks of the sign, this has been the future home of Township Park for about 4 years now, and will be into the forseeable future. We found a dangerous old playground and got a better shot of the Mustache shirts on display. The combination of good times and sunshine prompted MM to make good on his promise of shorts and a t-shirt in a lawn chair. And the suntan lotion flowed like wine.

11:40 a.m.: As we bid farewell to this rustic center of primitive beauty, we all felt a confusing rush of conflicted emotions. Our first thought was to stay there, to get jobs as farm hands and live out the rest of our days as simple men of the earth. However, a deep feeling of homesickness and a desire to see cars with wheels and houses with actual aluminium siding eventually drew us back home.

This totally makes up for not going anywhere for Spring Break. This just goes to show, the most unspoiled locations are often right in your own backyard. So go on! Explore your world!

Written by Max Kuehn. Edited by Andrew Kubas. Technical crap figured out by Sam Walker. Published for your viewing pleasure by the entire Mustache Franchise and Monstar Organization. Copyright 2006.