Tuesday, October 24, 2006

It's Hard Outside For A Stache, F'real

Everyone knows that teaching ain't easy. You need a sense of humor, a great vocabulary, a carefully coordinated wardrobe, and, in some very special cases, a briefcase full of Laffy Taffy.

One aspect of teaching which never seems to get any coverage is the importance of gestures in in the instruction of young minds. Here are a few of my favorites:

The Jab

Execution: Squeeze fingertips together with righteous force. Jab forward with purpose. Best if jabs are timed with each syll-a-ble!


The Chopping Block

Execution: Hold one had flat like a steel-scarred platter of oak, and in your mind, lay upon it all of your students' misconceptions and ignorance. Lift your mighty cleaver of enlightenment and bring it down upon them in a series of victorious strikes. Remember: you can't make a knowledge omlette without breaking a few complacent eggs.


From the Heart

Execution: Once you have broken your students down with the previous gestures, it's time to build them back up into the good citizens this country needs. Place your open hands, palms down, on your chest, pry open your metaphorical rib-cage, and move your hands up and out in an effort to spread the love from within yourself.

P.S.: You may have noticed this post has been edited. This is due to my own lack of testicular fortitude. That is all.

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6 Comments:

At 11:20 PM, October 24, 2006, Blogger Tay said...

she almost always has a balled up tissue in her hand as well.

btw max,did you get the blitz i sent you about the sat stuff? if not, perhaps check your junk-mail (hotmail usally sends stuff from colleges there). just wondering.

 
At 12:27 AM, October 25, 2006, Blogger mayah said...

ohhhh i like her. she's niiiice. slightly crazy, but just the sort of person i wanted guiding me at age 18. i miss niemi, and i think most of my class would agree.

 
At 1:34 AM, October 25, 2006, Blogger Houley said...

Max, if my roommate weren't trying to sleep right now, I'd be laughing out loud. Loudly.

I hope she does see it. I think she'd like it.

 
At 8:09 AM, October 25, 2006, Blogger constant_k said...

Sorry your comments don't make any sense now, dudes.

For the record, this post was about Niemi initially. I blinked.

 
At 7:13 PM, October 25, 2006, Blogger Kelsi said...

It took me a second. Good interpretation of the secretive meanings to the manic hand gestures.

 
At 12:17 AM, October 26, 2006, Blogger aa said...

ahh neimi. i miss her

 

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