It's Hard Outside For A Stache, F'real

Everyone knows that teaching ain't easy. You need a sense of humor, a great vocabulary, a carefully coordinated wardrobe, and, in some very special cases, a briefcase full of Laffy Taffy.

One aspect of teaching which never seems to get any coverage is the importance of gestures in in the instruction of young minds. Here are a few of my favorites:

The Jab

Execution: Squeeze fingertips together with righteous force. Jab forward with purpose. Best if jabs are timed with each syll-a-ble!

The Chopping Block

Execution: Hold one had flat like a steel-scarred platter of oak, and in your mind, lay upon it all of your students' misconceptions and ignorance. Lift your mighty cleaver of enlightenment and bring it down upon them in a series of victorious strikes. Remember: you can't make a knowledge omlette without breaking a few complacent eggs.

From the Heart

Execution: Once you have broken your students down with the previous gestures, it's time to build them back up into the good citizens this country needs. Place your open hands, palms down, on your chest, pry open your metaphorical rib-cage, and move your hands up and out in an effort to spread the love from within yourself.

P.S.: You may have noticed this post has been edited. This is due to my own lack of testicular fortitude. That is all.