Sunday, March 26, 2006

the new era of american politics

ladies and gentlemen, i couldn't wait one day longer.

for those of you who keep up with our blog, you're very aware that we are having a bread party in the near future. many of us can't wait for this endeavor, as we are sure to consume a large portion of bread and quintuple our daily intake of fiber and carbohydrates.

but, aside from this bread party, we are partaking in yet another epic event...an event that will not only define the future of the blogosphere, but one that will enhance the lives of the mustaches...and the nation as a whole.

i'm proud to announce the formation of the newest political entity: The Bread Party.



Reluctant? Wondering..."what are the political stances of The Bread Party"?

For poverty stricken America: Free Bread!
Is your social security account gone? We'll fill it up with bread.
High priced oil? We're working on extensive programs to turn bread into the newest energy resource.
Scared of the birdflu? We're testing whether or not bread cures strains of influenza.
Morbidly obese? Fat-free bread.
We plan to re-build New Orleans completely out of bread.
Our immigration policy: build 30 feet tall walls of bread around every inch of US border.

A vote for The Bread Party means a vote for bread. And a vote for bread...means a vote for America.

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12 Comments:

At 9:07 PM, March 26, 2006, Blogger Sherlock said...

Sarah Lee can be the first presidential candidate.

Or me.

 
At 9:50 PM, March 26, 2006, Blogger constant_k said...

We will bridge all of America's divides with doughy, yeasty goodness.

Some campaign slogans:

Bread--Good For You, Good For America!

Terrorists Hate Our Bread!

Better Bread Than Red!

Our campaign song? Anything by Bread! Maybe a Bread cover of "Don't Stop Thinking About Tommorow."

 
At 10:40 PM, March 26, 2006, Blogger Houley said...

"Make It With You."

I pledge my efforts to discovering Element 111, and naming it Element Bread.

And the next SI unit I find can be breads.

1 Bread = 96486 J*m^2/s*T

 
At 10:57 PM, March 26, 2006, Blogger constant_k said...

I'm pretty sure Elemental Bread exceeds the octet rule.

Theoretically, a single thimble-full of Elemental Bread could power all of America for the next 200 years!

Social security should be paid in bread. It's much more efficient than money. Every month, seniors could look forward to a fresh, steaming loaf in their mailboxes.

 
At 11:04 PM, March 26, 2006, Blogger Johnny V said...

Bread is the heaviest element ever discovered. The second heaviest is, of course, Stevensonium.

 
At 8:53 AM, March 27, 2006, Blogger Kaila said...

hahahaha Stevensonium hahaha


When I can I join the bread party? And are all types of bread welcomed??

 
At 3:45 PM, March 27, 2006, Blogger bundy said...

a fresh, steaming loaf, indeed.

 
At 6:16 PM, March 27, 2006, Blogger keuber said...

The Bread Party suddenly makes a yeast infection not look so bad...

 
At 9:24 PM, March 27, 2006, Blogger Houley said...

Where is the line drawn, then? What exactly is bread?

I mean, cake is not bread, but it's close. Bread pudding? Involves bread, but is it really bread?

I need some clarification.

 
At 10:18 PM, March 27, 2006, Blogger constant_k said...

I think we do need some ground rules. Bread pudding is certainly not bread; bread must maintain a loaf shape to keep bread party support.

Other questions are a little touchier, and I think reader input would help.

Does, say, banana bread qualify? Delicious cinnamon-swirled bread? Or must the bread party be a strictly savory entity?

 
At 7:17 PM, March 28, 2006, Blogger The_Janitor said...

I say yes on the specialty breads because we need to ad some flavor.

 
At 9:05 PM, March 28, 2006, Blogger Sherlock said...

I'm gonna look into like an orange-raspberry bread for the Bread Party, so I think I'll second Kurt's support for the gourmets.

 

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