People: They're The Worst

Further proof that I have no idea what Mrs. Niemi is thinking:

So last week we wrote a prose-analysis essay based on a passage from Jennifer Price's "The Plastic Pink Flamingo: A Natural History." I didn't like the question, and from what I heard, everyone wrote about something different. I didn't connect anything to anything else and I included just about the ugliest paranthetical statement of all time. The only thing I felt alright about was my last sentence, which was a half-page monstrosity with 6 commas and a dashed off statement--you know, a real Tay sentence--but which had a little hustle and flow.

The next day, Mrs. Niemi talked about all the "really good sixes" she was reading. Translation: These papers were well written, but their authors failed to read my mind and thus are to be punished. Naturally, I thought that my paper would fall into this category.

Grade time today: I'm expecting a 6, would be happy with a 7. The paper arrives--9.

Mrs. Niemi--This was very well written. Very nice.

She later described it--along with the other two nines--as being "like putting something very delicious in your mouth...like a piece of chocolate. That very carnal feeling...we get from eating food."

Creepy. But back to the essay: if you don't believe me about this essay being bad, just ask Sam Walker. I'm sure he has a complete list of faults somewhere.


P.S.: Today, while discussing where the best place to punch someone is, Pritschet restated his claim that a mere four pounds of pressure is enough to crush a human windpipe. I tend to doubt this assertation, but am mysteriously reluctant to test it.