Monday, November 20, 2006

People: They're The Worst

Further proof that I have no idea what Mrs. Niemi is thinking:

So last week we wrote a prose-analysis essay based on a passage from Jennifer Price's "The Plastic Pink Flamingo: A Natural History." I didn't like the question, and from what I heard, everyone wrote about something different. I didn't connect anything to anything else and I included just about the ugliest paranthetical statement of all time. The only thing I felt alright about was my last sentence, which was a half-page monstrosity with 6 commas and a dashed off statement--you know, a real Tay sentence--but which had a little hustle and flow.

The next day, Mrs. Niemi talked about all the "really good sixes" she was reading. Translation: These papers were well written, but their authors failed to read my mind and thus are to be punished. Naturally, I thought that my paper would fall into this category.

Grade time today: I'm expecting a 6, would be happy with a 7. The paper arrives--9.

Mrs. Niemi--This was very well written. Very nice.

She later described it--along with the other two nines--as being "like putting something very delicious in your mouth...like a piece of chocolate. That very carnal feeling...we get from eating food."

Creepy. But back to the essay: if you don't believe me about this essay being bad, just ask Sam Walker. I'm sure he has a complete list of faults somewhere.


P.S.: Today, while discussing where the best place to punch someone is, Pritschet restated his claim that a mere four pounds of pressure is enough to crush a human windpipe. I tend to doubt this assertation, but am mysteriously reluctant to test it.

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8 Comments:

At 10:28 PM, November 20, 2006, Blogger Hillstorm said...

did she talk about the pumpkin ravioli too?

 
At 10:31 PM, November 20, 2006, Blogger keuber said...

you and julie are my favorite chocolate.

we got into a discussion in spanish about "no..julie, i would never eat you" and it all sounded too weird so i just stopped.

 
At 12:48 AM, November 21, 2006, Blogger Houley said...

i don't imagine force collapses windpipes so much as pressure... i bet i could withstand four pounds of force if it were applied across the entirety of my throat, but maybe not if it were applied over an area equivalent to, say, Pritschet's knuckles.

 
At 10:25 AM, November 21, 2006, Blogger mayah said...

does it scare anyone else that pritschet has the power to kill us all? not my favorite thing to think about.

 
At 12:06 PM, November 21, 2006, Blogger Tom said...

im not gonna say that neimi was bad at grading essays, because i never felt that way, but i was very often perplexed by the grades i recieved. papers i felt good about got 6's, and papers i was real worried about got 8's and 9's... she keeps you guessing.

 
At 4:16 PM, November 21, 2006, Blogger Pammy said...

Goddamnitall, I hated that stupidass essay so much.
I'm so sick of everybody being all, "that essay was soooooooo easy and everything is soooooo easy and I'm soooooo easy and I got a 5 and it was soooooooo easy" and I want just want to go "DIE, motherf-ers" and bury them in a big ink blot. Which was pretty much what my essay may as well have been.
There. I feel better.

 
At 5:52 PM, November 21, 2006, Blogger Kelsi said...

Didn't Mick give her that recipe?

That woman obsessed about my birthday for an entire week after it had passed. She felt bad that she missed it. What?

 
At 10:24 PM, November 21, 2006, Blogger Hillstorm said...

yeah he did

 

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