Sunday, February 04, 2007

All Along The Watchtower

Items to buy, Post-Superbowl Update:

1. Rayovac batteries. Brett Favre says they last a long time, and I think he knows a little somthing about endurance, am I right? (nudge nudge)

2. A bucket full of a burbling brown mixture of 6 parts Budweiser and 4 parts Coke.

3. Prince's kerchief...thingy...deal. Also the rights to produce a musical based on his halftime medely.

4. Kevin Federline's latest single

Unfortunately, there were no chimps featured in any of the ads. Everybody knows chimps=hilarious=$$$. WHAT WERE THOSE MARKETING EXECS THINKING?


Alright, my aunt Sarah has a sweet idea for a movie which I'd like to make. Basically, late one night, out on the prarie, Paul Bunyan wakes up. He looks around, stands up, walks quietly across the sleeping town, smashes Kohls to the ground, and walks back to his chair. Oh, and maybe he uses the water tower as a toilet on the way back.

Sarah sees some deep symbolism in how Paul (and the lumberjacks he symbolizes) cut down trees and led civilization's march to push out nature, but now Paul is the one who has been removed, cast aside by the soulless bastards at Kohls. I see a chance for a towering Paul to tiptoe across town, smash a sweet model of Kohls (ideally built out of plaster, with some walls stronger than others so they smash at different rates [ala Godzilla]) with an axe, then stomp on back.

Has anyone ever noticed the chilling similarities between our own Paul Bunyan and that creepy Burger King mascot?

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3 Comments:

At 6:02 PM, February 05, 2007, Blogger Houley said...

What, they both wear full beards and hats? That's as far as the similarities go...

 
At 7:54 PM, February 05, 2007, Blogger gregariousmime said...

Bob Dylan!

 
At 10:31 PM, February 05, 2007, Blogger Houley said...

I liked the cover medley, but I haven't heard enough Prince to feel like I was missing anything. Probably the only two I could recognize would be "Purple Rain" and "Pussy Control."

 

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