What Time Is It?

So my birthday is coming up (Feb 25th; Mark your calendar!), and this of course means I must once more shoulder the terrible burden of deciding what I want others to buy for me. I can assure you a team of scientists is working on this condundrum as we speak, but I'd like to call your attention to one item in particular.

Observe this watch. To all outward appearances, it is a mild mannered wristwatch, faithfully ticking away the seconds between all the boring events in your life.
BUT, at the mere push of a button, this seemingly innocuous gadget is transformed into a 4 ounce party-starting machine.Now, before you get too excited, I must warn you: as far as I can tell, this item does not exist...yet. A thorough search of the entire Inter-webbing of cyberspace revealed no such artifact in the history of the world. Even so, I have hope that one day we will overcome myriad technological and moral hurldes in our path and produce this ungodly marvel of technology.


Ideally, this day will come in the next three weeks or so.