Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Kill-tacular!

Self-Psychoanalysis (The Best Kind of Psychoanalysis)
Doctor: Max Kuehn
Patient: Max Kuehn
Patient's testimony:
So today when I was walking home from tennis, John, Jeff, and Bryce buzzed me in Bryce's (?) big black truck. They kind of caught me by surprise as I was distracted by the old iPod, but I had a fast enough reaction time to give them all the finger. Then, as they drove away, I turned towards them and armed my imaginary rocket launcher.

I aimed carefully, pulled the trigger, and then moved the second crosshairs over their rapidly receding vehicle to lock-on. After a brief pause to let an innocent van go by, I fired my imaginary rocket. As I visualized their car going up in a ball of fire, I thought quietly to myself (in a very dramatic voice) "Triple Kill!"

Diagnosis: Patient has violent, sociopathic tendencies towards jerks in cars and difficulty distinguishing reality from fantasy.

Prescription: He needs to play some Halo, seriously.

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12 Comments:

At 7:59 PM, March 29, 2006, Blogger The_Janitor said...

Come on now Max, this post is weak. We have had 4 posts in the last 2 hours and this is by far the worst. What is the point of it, explain.

 
At 8:15 PM, March 29, 2006, Blogger constant_k said...

Kurt, just because you suck at halo doesn't mean you need to take it out on the rest of us.

Also, who are you to complain about the posts on this blog when you post once every, oh, 3 weeks?

 
At 8:42 PM, March 29, 2006, Blogger Sherlock said...

We could play some Halo while we wait for the bread to bake, fo' shizzle.

 
At 8:49 PM, March 29, 2006, Blogger The_Janitor said...

Max, When I wrote that, all your post was was a picture that said "Kill-tacular" above it. It didn't make any sense or have any point like that. Now I understand and approve of the post.

 
At 9:37 PM, March 29, 2006, Blogger Houley said...

Halo is a decent prescription for anything. Especially herpes.

 
At 9:55 PM, March 29, 2006, Blogger Josh said...

my favorite post so far.

come play halo with us this weekend.

 
At 11:27 PM, March 29, 2006, Blogger Houley said...

First.

Max, what would YOU do for a Klondike bar?

 
At 6:55 AM, March 30, 2006, Blogger Johnny V said...

Yeah, we owned you. We totally could have gotten a vehicle kill medal if we wanted to.

 
At 10:42 PM, March 30, 2006, Blogger keuber said...

houley:

what would JESUS do for a klondike bar?

 
At 9:51 AM, March 31, 2006, Anonymous Jesus Christ said...

I'd turn water into wine... maybe make a few fish feed a thousand people.... repent the sins of the world... you know, the usual stuff.

 
At 10:09 PM, March 31, 2006, Blogger keuber said...

couldn't you turn water into klondike bars?

or at least...just blink your eyes and have a klondike bar?

 
At 1:02 AM, April 01, 2006, Anonymous Jesus Christ said...

I don't have those kinds of powers! Who do you think I am... Chuck Norris?

 

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