"I'm Andrew Kubas, and I approve the following message."
good lord, my life has been pretty crazy lately. it has centered a lot around gambling--but not the addicting casino type.
i went golfing with my friends on wednesday...and naturally we had to have a little $$ on the game. Visualize: hole 7 at the preserve. A 25 foot putt breaking 3 feet from left to right. i had to drain the beast in order to salvage "halving" the hole...and save some huge cash. i just stroked it (STROKIN'!) and it fell perfectly into the cup. i mean it was BEAUTIFUL.
afterwards tom day/hennen, rhett and myself decided to eat out at the new china garden. PEW. the food was only "OK"...but wayyyy toooooo expensive. i pulled off the miraculous "trifecta" (aka 3 full plates of chinese cuisine) i wouldn't recommend it to anyone.
the next day (thursday) i had a phone call at about 4:00 PM:
Tom Day: "Wanna go to the casino?"
Long story short...we had about 14 jackpot parties between the two of us--and on 11 of them--we hit a POOPER on the first touch. PEW. still, i was up $20. the highlight of the night: no one checked our ID coming in...so after about an hour of gambling...the HEAD of security came WITH a friendly bouncer. He was like, "gentlemen, could i see some I.D.?" and while he spoke the words the bouncer behind him was adjusting his shirt and tie. it was a scene right out of the movies.
friday was pretty boring...the Neon essentially died leaving me at home to watch the game. my take: bundy BY FAR looked the best on D. i'm not saying that because he's a mustache--i think he legitimately was the best on D. (speaking of football: max, could i borrow the megaphone for the moorhead game friday?)
...and now, saturday, the highlight of my week. a few days ago tom hennen set a goal...nay, a DREAM for the entire world to behold...'twas an idea so incredible that only 4 daring young men would attempt to do it. tom hennen/day, nick anderson, and myself set out to beat the game NBA Hang Time. for those of you who perhaps are unfamiliar with the game, it was the 1996 N64 classic which, unfortunately, seems unbeatable. our mission: to defeat all 30 NBA teams in one day. (the computer essentially cheats and always comes from behind to win games...they hit full court shots, don't call goaltending, steal the ball from 20 feet away...etc)
2 hours and 30 minutes passed: 6 games won. we decided the game was impossible to beat. so, we once again decided to try out the china garden. PEW. not only was the food worse the 2nd time around but they jacked the price. we're talking $14 per buffet. RIPOFF. RIP. OFF.
anyway, we arrived back to tom hennen's house at 11:45. innocent nick anderson--of all people--had a genius idea. he had heard about betta fish at wal-mart...apparently if you leave two males together in the same bowl they attack each other. being that we missed "friday fight night" or whatever it's called on ESPN, we decided to hold our own "saturday night fight" with the fish. items purchased at wal-mart: 3 bottles of fish food, 5 bowls, and 6 fish.
as a group, we bought two fish to fight immediately...and each of us purchased our own individual fish. we're going to train them...feed them..etc, and then we're holding another fight night on tuesday. (MORNING-LINE ODDS WILL BE POSTED IF YOU WANT IN)
we came back to TH's house at 12:30...and the fights were on! we placed two fish in the bowl...the suspension was building! the two circled around...faced each other...came nose-to-nose!!! ...and then they both backed off into their own corners. nothing. nada. no action. no accion.
so now, i am left with my fish...to train...to breed...to feed...to raise from his infancy to become...
THE GREATEST FISH FIGHTER IN THE WORLD.
in my state of tired-drunkeness last night (note: not DRUNKENESS, TIRED-drunkeness...who do you think i am?) my friends persuaded me to name him "mohammed." but, after some deep thought, i have determined his official name to be...
ALPHA, the betta fish. (get it?? DO YA? it doesn't have to be spelled correctly to be a great pun)
This photo shows Alpha all sweet and innocent like...just floating around...but WATCH OUT! he's ready to attack!
Labels: billions and billions, bread
posted by keuber @ 3:31 PM
13 comments
13 Comments:
Alpha looks pretty tough.
Yass of course you can use the megaphone. Just try not to get it confiscated.
can he live in the band room?
I'm going to get a betta fish and name him paul and he will have a mustache. He'll lose all his fights but he'll be way more musically talented than the rest.
just thought i'd let you guys know your friend from linn creek is on right now.
if you are reading this linn creek person, reveal yourself.
There's someone from around Wichita on right now, as well as someone from Columbus.
yeah, we're pretty much taking over the entire nation.
gaf--BEST. IDEA. EVER.
(anyone), is it possible to start an entire colony of betta fish in the band room? would anyone be willing/able to assist me in this feat?
i will.
oh man. I would definitely help if I could. I would love to see that...
how will we hide them from the melbster?
Goldfish would be easier; they require no intrusive bubbling equipment.
Max, I'm pretty sure your betta fish will be doneski after one fight, I don't think they last long after being shredded by their opponent.
You should put the colony in a tuba case. That way they can turn a putrid off-white and get big discolored eyes from adjusting to the dark, and that would be bad ass
some clarifications:
first, they don't fight until the death. all of the fish that have already fought are still alive...we put them into the "retirement" tank.
second, they require no bubble action. it's just a small tank (we're talking about 1/2 liter) with rocks and a fake tree.
third, you only have to change 1/5 of the water once a week. that's really easy.
fourth, you only feed them once a day. i have 2 different canisters of food...they will last him the year!
fifth, all of these reasons point to one thing:
sixth, WE MUST KEEP ALPHA IN THE BAND ROOM!
stick him behind your trumpet in your locker.
my betta fish's name was rock lobster and he was kick ass.
then he died.
on the other hand, my friend sarah has had her betta fish since freshman year. that's two years now, suckaz!
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