Have You Ever Noticed How All Poor People Are Fat?

Max: I wonder if I could paddle upstream against the Mississippi in a canoe. I guess it'd be easier with two, but still.
Sam: Max, I'm sure you could. After all, Lewis and Clark paddled up the Mississippi in a canoe all the way across America.
Max: That's not true.
Sam: Yes it is.
Max: Sam, they had a huge crew. They traveled on large barges which were pulled by oxen on either side of the river.
Sam: Well, after all the other guys died it was just Lewis and Clark in a canoe.
Max: Only one guy died. It was in like the second week. He fell into some rapids. Everyone else survived.
Sam: Well, Lewis and Clark always traveled slightly ahead of the crew, in a canoe.
Max: I once read a Time magazine article on this subject, and I highly doubt that.
Sam: Max, my dad is a Lewis and Clark scholar.
Max: Okay that I believe.
Sam: Actually, more of a Lewis scholar. Clark may not have even existed.
Max: Oh, so he was a Lewis and Clark conspiracy theorist.
Sam: No, he was a legitimate scholar!
Max: Sam, saying that Lewis and Clark traveled in a canoe might be legitimate scholarship. Suggesting that they were different personalities of the same schizophrenic individual? Not so much.
Kelsi Herwig (under her breath to Anna Zimmerman): Are they always like this?

Tune in to 3WI from 10-11 a.m. tommorow for more such exhilirating rapid fire exchanges on Koeping with Government. Also featured: uber-liberal Sara Swenson and wishy-washy Kara Richard. In order to keep things interesting, I think Sam is gonna socialist-up his viewpoints, and I may have to adopt a new persona, similar to that of Stephen Colbert, only more abrasive and meaner.

Will Mary notice the difference? We'll see!