Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Life Sucks And Then You Die

Three things:

1. So our once pure, innocent yearbook staff over at the Brainonian has decided that the yearbook is due for an image makeover. Gotta get more "real" for the new generation, I guess.

How so, you ask? Nudie pics? Drug tips? Profanity-laden rants? Teacher-themed Penthouse letters? Administration centerfold?

None of the above, I'm afraid. No, the good, lazy people at the Brainonian have decided to become disciples of the Church of Body Modification. According to a notice in the morning announcement, any students with piercings or tattoos (in "safe to photograph areas") should hustle on down to the media center, get a picture taken, and explain why they chose to punch holes in/permanently stain their skin, and what said perforations/markings mean to them.

I know what you're thinking: the Dark Mark is certainly worthy.

"I got it to show my devotion to the Dark Lord. Also, it burns black when he's calling me, so that's handy."

But whoever could draw it now that Jake Iten has left the building?

2. Great ad in the BDD classifieds this week:
1984 DODGE Diplomat,
4-door, loaded, runs good.

Man, what's not to like? It's from '84 (a very good year for Diplomats, if I remember correctly), it is "loaded" (read: recieves both FM and* AM radio signals), and it runs....good.

3. The Italians once again proved that they reside on the forefront of blog technology by posting this marvelous (and yet terrifying) image.One thing though: The Stallion appears to have labled this picture "rambo." I'd say that the head-scarf and scruffy demeanor mark this particular little fellow as a rodent of the America-hating (as opposed to Viet-Cong-killing) variety.

*Damnit, that ironically capitalized "AND" in lost it's intended impact when I put it between FM and AM. Capitals in the middle of a sentence are usually a recipe for hilarity. But capitals flanked by more capitals? Where's the joke then? Nowhere, that's where.

I tried adding in a few extra letters to emphasize the fact that the "AND" was sarcastic and not just an acronym, but eventually I just had to use italics, a passable but inferior device for conveying sarcasm textually.**

**This was the most Sam Walker-esque thing I've typed in my whole life. Somebody help me.

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At 10:33 PM, February 06, 2007, Blogger Houley said...

get one of your Brainonian buds to sneak a pic of the Dark Mark (archived on wtityb) into the year book with said quote.


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