Wednesday, April 04, 2007

This One Goes Out To Hard Luck Louie

I'm considering building myself some stilts, or buying some if the price is right. I'll probably build my own, though. I wonder what material would work best for stilt construction. Wood, despite being wicked heavy and kind of expensive, will probably end up proving its superiority as stilt-making material.
I suppose all I'll really need is two big ol' slabs of lumber and two little triangular pegs for footrests. Height will be the biggest factor: too tall and the stilts will be unweildy and dangerous, too short and they will be silly--what's the point of building yourself some stilts if they only lift you a foot off the ground? I figure my stilts should be about 10 feet tall with the footpegs about three feet up so I could step into them without having to climb a ladder or something.

Stilting seems like a good hobby; you get fresh air, exercise, a temproary boost in elevation. Plus, it opens up all sorts of career opportunities at car dealerships and such. Perhaps I could join some sort of stiltist enthusiast's club. We'd meet once a month to race each other and trade stories about our myriad stilt-based exploits.

Possible problem: I'm not real good at balancing.

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11 Comments:

At 10:23 PM, April 04, 2007, Blogger Johnny V said...

id go straight to the pogostick max. once you can do a backflip, you get SPONSORED.

 
At 11:07 PM, April 04, 2007, Blogger constant_k said...

pogostick is a motherfucking no-go for max.

TRUST ME.

 
At 10:06 AM, April 05, 2007, Blogger Tom said...

id go three and a half feet... might be difficult at first, but once you get the hang of it, that's a whole 'nother half a foot.

i think this comment will go down as the most inane thing ive ever typed. and there's some fierce competition in that category...

 
At 2:34 PM, April 05, 2007, Blogger Houley said...

i don't know that many stilters started off with three-foot stilts. I'd try a foot at first and work up from there.

 
At 5:57 PM, April 05, 2007, Blogger Tom said...

thats rediculous jason. he may as well wear some platform shoes as make one-foot stilts.

 
At 12:31 PM, April 06, 2007, Blogger constant_k said...

I've been thinkin.

If I could do a backflip on STILTS, I could get probably a SCHOLARSHIP for that.

 
At 1:12 PM, April 06, 2007, Blogger Pammy said...

man, stilts are sweet. I forgot about those things. I used to go to this summer camp where they had stilts everywhere, and you could just stilt around and leave the stilts at another stilt holder posty thing when you got sick of stiltin'. it was totally sweet.

 
At 1:13 PM, April 06, 2007, Blogger constant_k said...

See, that's the kind of stilt excitement I'm after.

 
At 4:13 PM, April 06, 2007, Blogger Amelia said...

as long as you're at it, you should learn how to ride one of those really tall bikes. they've always impressed me.

also, don't follow your sister to northwestern. go to the effin U

 
At 8:54 PM, April 07, 2007, Blogger Koreann said...

Perhaps something is wrong with your inner ear, and once you get that checked out, balancing will no longer be el problemo.

Max. . .
California. Is surfing a motherfucking no-go too?

 
At 9:53 AM, April 08, 2007, Blogger constant_k said...

I wish I could surf.

 

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