Sunday, April 01, 2007

V for Rejection: Part Deux

Well dudes, all good things must come to an end. For a while there, I thought I might've been attending Princeton University this fall, and that was a good thing. But now it has become abundantly clear that not only will I not be attending the big P, I probably won't even leave the state of Minnesota.

And you know what? As much fun as it is to give Tay shit, I think I'm feeling a little empathy for him here. I'm genuinely pissed off right now.

Here's how it went down: I've been doing my best to put Princeton out of my mind until the letter arrived, so naturally I wasn't exactly obsessive about re-reading all the emails they'd sent me regarding "your admissions decision." I'd assumed that the results would be made available online at the same time that letters were being sent out, and seeing as I am a fan of recieveing important news via snail mail rather than e-post (having already recieved one disappointment of the email variety from Questbridge), I had decided to just wait for the letter.

Turns out I was wrong. When I went into my gmail last night at about 1 a.m. to confirm my "results will be availble online sometime in the first week in April" hypothesis, I was confronted with this little tidbit:

Admission decisions for applicants to the Princeton Class of 2011 will be available online on Thursday, March 29, 2007 after 5 pm EDT. We also will mail decision letters by post to all applicants.

"Oh shit," I thought. "Looks like the time has come, motherfucker."

I clicked my links and put in my usernames and passwords and before I knew it I was staring at a decision. To quote an authority:

"i don't even have time to get mad before i am sucker-punched in the face by flat out rejection."

So the moral of the story is, I won't be wearing a black and orange sweater vest for the next two months, nor will I get a secret tiger tattoo on my scalp. I still haven't heard from Northwestern, and I haven't visited Carleton yet, but honestly I don't think I want to go to either of those places. The U of M is looking better and better. It's close, it's cheap, and it gives me a lot of options in terms of different fields of study. Plus, the football games are way more fun.

In conclusion, henceforth, therefore, and furthermore, Max Kuehn will be a Golden Gopher next year, and there's not a goddamned thing you can do about it.

P.S.: Check out this great ad from NDSU. They're apparently going for the "grimace at knifepoint" look. I'm real sorry I didn't apply there.P.P.S.: Blades of Glory sucked.

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At 10:39 AM, April 01, 2007, Blogger constant_k said...

April Fools

At 10:50 AM, April 01, 2007, Blogger constant_k said...

Alright, did I get anybody?

I'm worried that I might have lost everyone as soon as I said I was feeling empathy towards tay.

And blades of glory was actually hilarious.

At 11:01 AM, April 01, 2007, Blogger mayah said...

oh my god i was like "why didn't that bastard call me???" whew, maxwell. whew.

At 11:17 AM, April 01, 2007, Blogger keuber said...

dirty, dirrrrty, maxwell.

At 11:21 AM, April 01, 2007, Blogger Tay said...

umm... congratulations?

At 11:47 AM, April 01, 2007, Blogger hannah said...

but did you get in?
and grad speech update plz.

At 11:58 AM, April 01, 2007, Blogger Hillstorm said...

so, did you get in or haven't you actually heard back yet! AH.

Blades of Glory was hilarious.

At 12:08 PM, April 01, 2007, Blogger Pelk said...

I'm assuming you won't be joining the hallowed ranks of Carlson.

At 12:15 PM, April 01, 2007, Blogger constant_k said...

I ehnt heard from 'em yet, I'm gonna wait for the dreaded letter.

I asked Heise about the grad speech last time I saw him, but he waffled like Bill Clinton. I ought to confront him again sometime soon, I guess.

At 12:20 PM, April 01, 2007, Blogger Samwalkertron said...

April Fools is the dumbest tradition ever

At 12:29 PM, April 01, 2007, Blogger constant_k said...

Sam, it is a great tradition.

At 12:36 PM, April 01, 2007, Blogger Kara said...

Princeton's a cheap college (as in, why haven't they told you yet); I've already been rejected by both of mine. (Your requiem to the U sounded awfully familiar).

As for the speech thing, apparently they're thinking about cutting all of the senior speeches this year. This is what I got out of Linda the last time I asked her about it.

At 12:52 PM, April 01, 2007, Blogger constant_k said...

What the hell?

Fuckin Heise and his "new sheriff in town" razzle-dazzle inferiority complex.

At 1:58 PM, April 01, 2007, Blogger Houley said...

man, you really had me going there. i thought you didn't like Blades of Glroy... i was split on whether or not to see it. good thing you were joking.

At 4:49 PM, April 01, 2007, Blogger Hillstorm said...

"Admission decisions for applicants to the Princeton Class of 2011 will be available online on Thursday, March 29, 2007 after 5 pm EDT. We also will mail decision letters by post to all applicants."

Is this part true?

At 6:05 PM, April 01, 2007, Blogger Josh said...

by "post"

what a bunch of fuckin dicks

At 7:33 PM, April 01, 2007, Blogger jobble said...

blades of glory is absolutely amazing.

At 7:42 PM, April 01, 2007, Blogger royalewithcheese_ said...

Blades of glory was fucking amazing


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