Saturday, May 27, 2006

All Things To Everyone

So here's how saturated with liberal guilt I am: I was hosting at LLL tonight and I seated a couple with child. The guy was black. I sat them in the worse room, and when they asked if they could move to a better table, I told them that it was going to be used by a larger party, which I honestly thought was true. As it turned out, the larger party didn't need it, and 30 minutes later I was seating a different couple at the nicer table. Now, even though I really did believe the table was in use, and even though I only seated the later couple there because I had to, I still felt guilty. In the eyes of my paranoid, guilty liberal consience, I had denied a black man a better table, and given the table to an old whitey instead. What's worse, his wife was white; maybe I'm subconciously prejudiced against interracial marriage too.

TOTH to:
-WJJY for All fucking Eighties fucking Saturday fucking Night.

WOTF to:
-Hannah Burchill for not coming to work, so I had to cover her ass. WTF, Hannah. WTF.

If I were a mutant, I would either want to be:
A) Electro-Seismic Shock, with the power to create electric earthquakes. Electric earthquakes are like regular earthquakes, but with fucking lighting bolts all over the place. I would specialize in ground-pound attacks.

B) Chloroplast, with the ability to create my own food through photosynthesis. I'm not sure how I would use this to fight evil, but I think it would be pretty neat.

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7 Comments:

At 8:40 AM, May 28, 2006, Blogger Kid C said...

Max, you knew the whole time there was no "larger party" you racist pig.

 
At 10:03 AM, May 28, 2006, Blogger 3_the_hard_way said...

WTF at the Prince look alike in X-Men 3. That was probably one of the most f-ed up moments in X-Men history.

 
At 10:38 AM, May 28, 2006, Blogger mayah said...

max, you should be thanking my ass for not having to work every saturday. ONE saturday of the WHOLE summer? frick man. you have no idea how good you have it.

actually, 2 saturdays. i've got a wedding in august you'll need to cover too. but still, the point remains.

 
At 10:39 AM, May 28, 2006, Blogger mayah said...

oh ps tis is hannah on maya's account but i'm sure you figured it out k.

 
At 11:22 AM, May 28, 2006, Blogger The_Janitor said...

On behalf of the entire Bread Party, I would like to say I am outraged by this racist behavior. We may have to consider pulling you from the ballot as our candidate and replace you with Tom Day as the presidential candidate.

 
At 8:16 PM, May 28, 2006, Blogger Amelia said...

are you sure you want to give WJJY a tip?
and you should not be thanking maya's ass for anything...

 
At 11:35 PM, May 28, 2006, Blogger keuber said...

max,

did the family receive any bread with their meal?

if so, according to the guidelines of The Bread Party, you treated them equal to any other family.

 

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