All Things To Everyone

So here's how saturated with liberal guilt I am: I was hosting at LLL tonight and I seated a couple with child. The guy was black. I sat them in the worse room, and when they asked if they could move to a better table, I told them that it was going to be used by a larger party, which I honestly thought was true. As it turned out, the larger party didn't need it, and 30 minutes later I was seating a different couple at the nicer table. Now, even though I really did believe the table was in use, and even though I only seated the later couple there because I had to, I still felt guilty. In the eyes of my paranoid, guilty liberal consience, I had denied a black man a better table, and given the table to an old whitey instead. What's worse, his wife was white; maybe I'm subconciously prejudiced against interracial marriage too.

TOTH to:
-WJJY for All fucking Eighties fucking Saturday fucking Night.

WOTF to:
-Hannah Burchill for not coming to work, so I had to cover her ass. WTF, Hannah. WTF.

If I were a mutant, I would either want to be:
A) Electro-Seismic Shock, with the power to create electric earthquakes. Electric earthquakes are like regular earthquakes, but with fucking lighting bolts all over the place. I would specialize in ground-pound attacks.

B) Chloroplast, with the ability to create my own food through photosynthesis. I'm not sure how I would use this to fight evil, but I think it would be pretty neat.