Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Now, Return To Me!

I've got a phone interview with a dude from Princeton this Saturday. He called me today to set it up, and he tried to claim it was just about answering any questions I might have about the college. But we all know the real purpose of this sort of interview: to seperate the top-tier IV-grade wheat from the "Don't you think you're more of a Dartmouth kind of student?" chaff.

With that in mind, I'm busy compiling a list of answers to memorize so I can rattle them off with robotlike precision when John Q. Princeton comes a-calling...literally!*

Favorite Color: orange
Second favorite color: black
Favorite animal: tiger
Favorite song: Princeton rouser
Favorite word: nattily

Mom's proffession: practically runs the local community college
Dad's proffession: gorilla tamer...no, wait, tiger tamer!

Special talents: astral projection, super speed

Also, my cat has a master's degree**, and my dogs are world renowned acrobats, and my refrigerator can talk.

*I realize that when used in this sense, "calling" means visiting in person, not calling on the telephone. However, I submit that this sentence is still viable, based on the inherent hilarity of the "...literally!" construction.
**Apostrophe or no apostrophe on "master(')s degree? This could be a matter of grave importance.

P.S.: I'm trying to come up with a theme for this year's Battle of the Bands. I guess they want something where we can put a guitar on the t-shirt, becase last year's shirt had a guitar and it went over well. I'm having a little bit of a mental block here, but here's what I have so far (possible mottos in italics after theme):

This Was Meant To Be
The Prophecy Has Been Fulfilled

Guitars, Dragons, & Explosions!/
Guitars, Lightning, & Rocketships!
Awwww Yeeeeaaahh!

Rock Your Socks Off

Any suggestions? Remember this is Youth As Resources, so it needs to be relatively tame, i.e. Sam Walker's suggestion of "Big Fucking Eagles And Big Fucking Dragons" would not be acceptable.

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At 10:28 PM, February 27, 2007, Blogger royalewithcheese_ said...

I'm going to have to go with sam's idea. It's perfect and if YAR isn't willing to put it on the T shirts then they must not be that dedicated to Battle of the Bands

At 10:30 PM, February 27, 2007, Blogger Houley said...

There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold/
And she's going to the Battle of the Bands

At 11:03 PM, February 27, 2007, Blogger Josh said...

"the fascist asshole party"

At 1:16 AM, February 28, 2007, Blogger mayah said...

oh boy max, you'd better come up w/ some damn good questions to ask him. that's great that they called though!

how about some whitesnake lyrics, those seem to speak to the masses in brainerd.

At 12:31 PM, February 28, 2007, Blogger Tom said...

i got third place at that once. well, me and two other guys. those were the days. third place is kind of lame, but you can't exactly expect anyone to compete with Acirema ("We're Acirema, that's America spelled backwards, because thats who we are and that's where we live today.") or that other band from duluth who played "Devil Went Down to Georgia" with some girl who was obviously a fiddle prodigy.

Anyway, theme: "As Brainerd's guitar gently weeps" (Obviously with a piture of a crying guitar whose tears run down the shirt, forming the Mighty Mississippi River (fuck Itasca, everyone knows the REAL river starts in Brainerd)).


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