Thursday, February 22, 2007

The Jerk Who Fell To Earth

So Sam Walker was talking about the David Bowie movie The Man Who Fell To Earth the other day, and he mentioned how David Bowie's character, an alien who comes to earth, became rich and famous thanks to the advanced technological knowledge he brought with him. Naturally, I started to ponder what knowledge I could share with an alien world. My first thought was that I'd be pretty useless at trying to replicate earthling technology. I couldn't even assemble a light bulb/internal combustion engine/electric motor if given all the parts and neccesary tools, much less manufacture the parts or tools themselves.

Upon further consideration, I decided that my contribution to this hypothetical culture (a few hundred years behind our own, I guess) would be more theoretical than practical. I could approximate most of the important equations in the physics textbook, make a pretty good periodic table, and give a semi-thorough explantion of the theory of evolution. These would be called Max's Laws, the periodic table of the Max, and the theory of Max, respectively. I wouldn't have a lot of evidence (experimental or mathematical) to back these up, but ideally my "outer space alien" status would give me enough street cred to get them accepted.

Also, depending upon the cultural similarties of this new planet to Earth, I could totally introduce and take credit for some cultural-type stuff. For example, on Earth 2, the sandwhich, the pizza, and the hamburger would all be called the Max. Whenever someone was talking about a Max, you'd have to tell the difference through context. Also, soccer, basketball, and football would all be referred to as Maxball. I'd introduce what little I know of rugby too, but it would probably suck, and we'd call it Tayball.

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At 1:06 AM, February 23, 2007, Blogger mayah said...


and that's very presumptuous to assume another planet would be subject to the same laws of physics and contain the same elements, don't you think?

At 1:18 AM, February 23, 2007, Blogger Tay said...

tayball would be picked up by all aliens because they would see its vastly superior qualities.

At 7:14 AM, February 23, 2007, Blogger Tom said...

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At 8:16 PM, February 23, 2007, Blogger royalewithcheese_ said...

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At 8:17 PM, February 23, 2007, Blogger royalewithcheese_ said...

Wouldn't it be tayball because it's gay?

At 10:57 PM, February 23, 2007, Blogger constant_k said...

Well if the planet is in the same universe as ours, it seems pretty likely that the same laws of physics would apply and chemicals would exist.


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