Monday, February 19, 2007

some real syllogistic reasoning for your ass

Premise I: God is love.
Premise II: Love is blind.
Premise III: Stevie Wonder is blind.
Conclusion: Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God


and on a lighter note, i can prove that girls are evil -

girls = time x money

time = money

therefore, girls are (money)^2

now, money = root of all evil

so girls are the root of evil squared

girls are evil


compliments of a boring night alone with wikipedia

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14 Comments:

At 9:05 PM, February 19, 2007, Blogger CoachDub said...

To be fair, however, it is the "love of money" that is the root of all evil, not money itself.
Other than that, all logic stands.

 
At 9:23 PM, February 19, 2007, Blogger Houley said...

the second always bugs me because "girls are time and money" would be girls = time + money. if girls were "time by money" or "time times money" or a few even more ridiculous things, it would be fly...

 
At 9:55 PM, February 19, 2007, Blogger bundy said...

houley, a valid point, however i have done extensive research to show that my second equation does, indeed work. the sheer genius of it would, of course, leave you comatose, however let me deliver it in a layman's terms - girls are essentially one's time multiplied by money spent on that girl. "girls are time and money" is the generally accepted statement, however, i wish to, on basis of new scientific research, change this formula to read, with due credit given to jason houle, "girls are time by money."

a proposal for a new SI unit -

1 girl = 12.53 dollar hours

 
At 10:01 PM, February 19, 2007, Blogger bundy said...

by the way - people from other countries can lick my nine because we're using american dollars

 
At 10:21 PM, February 19, 2007, Blogger constant_k said...

Man I really been ringin' up the dollar hours lately

 
At 12:31 AM, February 20, 2007, Blogger Houley said...

Bundy, this is huge. The implications this has for modern economics are unimaginably spectacular! I'm going to have to make use of the special red telephone Stark gave me to relay news of this breakthrough posthaste.

 
At 2:19 PM, February 20, 2007, Blogger Pelk said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 2:20 PM, February 20, 2007, Blogger Pelk said...

Man, I better start studying the Bundy Theorem now because I know that I'm going to see it in one of my econ classes at some point.

Teacher: So class, what were the social implications of the Bundy Theorem.

Adam: It alerted all men to the fact that girls are the root of all evil, forcing the Evil One to reveal herself and begin her master plan. All men were forced into sexual slavery from thenceforth.

 
At 3:40 PM, February 20, 2007, Blogger bundy said...

hey, i have no objections to sexual slavery.

btw, notice how no women have posted on this. that can only mean one thing - they have no time to post due to, as pelkey stated, the fact that the girl has been found out, "forcing the Evil One to reveal herself and begin her master plan."

 
At 5:20 PM, February 20, 2007, Blogger kummet said...

pshhhh. the main reason for me not having any time is working. proven by the fact that instead of spending money on valentines day i made about 60 bucks. generally when i hang out with people we spend very little money to begin with.
who is your suspicious "evil one" anyway?

 
At 7:01 PM, February 20, 2007, Blogger Pelk said...

Hillary Clinton.

The Evil One could theoretically take many different forms. My guess is that she's a succubus, but it's really hard to know for certain.

 
At 7:10 PM, February 20, 2007, Blogger constant_k said...

Hillary a succubus? I don't think so. I mean, look at wily old Bill.

If she's a succubus, she's not a very good one.

 
At 10:40 PM, February 20, 2007, Blogger Pelk said...

I agree, this is just the first time in a long time when I could actually bring up succubi when it was at least somewhat relelvant.

Succubi should really be in more conversations.

 
At 11:59 PM, February 20, 2007, Blogger Houley said...

single best line in Man of the Year, and that movie was clearly designed to have many one-liners.

 

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