Sunday, March 04, 2007

A Conscript In The Kiss Army

The laser show was actually pretty neat. Sam and I planned to arrive for the 6 pm "laser vinyl" (Monsters of Classic Rock) show 20 minutes early, so of course I got there at 5:55, and Sam strolled in at about 6:03. Luckily the show was being run by two former science teachers of mine, misters Peabody and Wallace, so I was able to save a couple of seats.

Things started out rather surreally, as Mr. Wallace led us into the room with the show already in progress. Put yourself in my place: I've never been in this room before. I have no idea how it is shaped or how the furtinure is arranged. It's pitch black, AC DC is blaring, and there are lasers dancing on the ceiling. I'm following a spot of light on the floor from the flashlight of my sixth grade science teacher, struggling to orient myself as he leads us to the two empty seats. Sam was in a similar situation, except he didn't even have the light and was instead guiding himself by holding on to my hood. A pretty freaky start, all things considered.

As for the show itself, its contents can be divided up into two main categories.
1. Zany, psychodellic, geometric patterns which don't have anything to do with the lyrics but follow the beat and tune of the music. These could get eye-searingly repetitive, but were usually just pleasantly hypnotic. To paraphrase Sam Walker: "Man, my eyes kinda went outta focus a few times there. That was really cool."
2. Cartoons or images which followed the meaning of the lyrics as well as the beat, or at the very least the lasers formed recognizable shapes. The story in Bohemian Rhapsody was told in floating stylized theater mask format, and the Journey song featured (from what I could tell) an enormous scarab beetle flying through space and occasionally exploding. The best displays in this category were the ones that focused entirely on the band and what badasses they were. For the Van Halen song, for example, we spent most of our time falling down between two enormous skyscrapers, looking up at the sky as Van Halen merchandise (tickets, backstage passes, t-shirts) drifted by. Rock and Roll all night, by KISS, was even better: The KISS logo and the four band members' faces twirled about in a graceful yet awesome ballet of lasers and eye makeup and tongues. At one point they went through a fuckin laser-KISS roll call: The faces flashed up and the names wrote themselves in perfect cursive. Ace Frehley has both the best namd AND the best makeup.After Laser Vinyl Sam and I took a break to eat and soothe our throbbing peepers by looking at the very pretty partially eclipsed moon (whoooooa, Dark Side of the Moon, maaaaaaaan, deeeeeeep). In the name of convenince we went to Taco Hell to eat. I've never been a big fan of Taco Bell (or T-Bell, as assholes call it), but when Sam suggested it and I said "Man I hate that place" I realized that I really didn't have a very good reason to dislike it. I had eaten there literally once. So I approved a Taco Bell trip, and it was really terrible, and I was actually kind of happy about it. Because as much as my stomach was cramping up, the self-satisfaction outweighed the indigestion. A little grumbly in my tummy was a fair price to pay for confirming my long-held belief that Taco Bell really sucks.
Jordan joined us for Pink Floyd, which I don't wanna get too specific and ruin it for anyone who hasn't seen the show yet, and is planning on seeing it sometime in the future. So pretty much everyone, I guess.

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At 5:13 PM, March 04, 2007, Blogger Samwalkertron said...

I think the no-nonsense debriefing Mr. Wallace gave us before leading us in like we were headed into battle enhanced the surrealism of the scenario.

Also is there some sor tof big secret to the Pink Floyd show that cannot be revealed? If so I guess I missed it.

At 8:13 PM, March 04, 2007, Blogger constant_k said...

nah, I just didn't feel like describing it in detail.

At 5:32 PM, March 05, 2007, Blogger mayah said...

will it still be showing when i'm in town for break? and if so, will you go w/ me, maxwell?

At 7:46 PM, March 05, 2007, Blogger constant_k said...

sorry maya, this was the last show

They don't know when they will rent the machine again.


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