Monday, March 05, 2007

Interrobang The Drum Slowly

So I had that Princeton phone interview thing on Saturday. The interview dude, or John Braman if you're not into the whole brevity thing, is an orthopedic surgeon down at this backwards farm university called the U of M, which I realize is kind of like being one of the most respected roaches at Roach University (Roach University is a roach disposal system, similar to the Roach Hotel but much larger in scale and more time consuming. The advertising tagline is "Roaches enroll, but they don't graduate."), but still pretty good. I was expecting someone who would be basically a 39 year old Tay, except he's actually accomplished something, so he's an even bigger dick. John dashed these hopes early on and actually proved to be a pretty laid-back, personable guy. I'll have to come observe him perform shoulder surgery sometimes.

I was just certain that he had been lying earlier when he told me that the interview was mostly about him answering my questions, so I had a bunch of notes on how to justify my existence to this complete stranger. As it turned out it really was mostly me asking him questions, and I think I did a pretty good job of coming up with ten or twelve interesting queries for him to ramble on about for a few minutes apiece. Overall, he did a pretty good job of talking up Princeton. His best story was about taking a pulls off of his Guiness whlie milling around with Toni Morrison and some Irish poet who would later win a Nobel for literture. Even so, if I do end up at Princeton I'll probably end up being the most self-hating IV leaguer of all time.

Damn, I suppose the big P will be sending out letters of love/hate pretty soon here. Best not to think about it.

P.S.: My mother has a pretty good test for any music. While you listen to it, you ask yourself "Hey, wouldn't I rather be listening to James Brown?" If no, keep listening. If yes, throw the CD behind the couch and listen to some James Brown.

Anyways, the reason I brought it up is, Paul McCartney's Venus and Mars passes the James Brown test with flying colors.

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At 10:53 PM, March 05, 2007, Blogger Houley said...

"Directly afterwards, Tay and I headed into some Little Falls orthopedic clinic to meet with a doctor... we still don't know his name... who conducted our interviews for Princeton admission. The interviews went well, I believe, though I'm still leaning strongly towards the U of M. Money matters, folks."
-Jason Houle, 02/07/06

The guy that did ours was actually really creepy and intimidating. Tay can back me up.

Good luck, Maxwell. It takes a heckuva lot to get into them Ivy League schools out thar, but I should say I wouldn't be surprised if you got a big orange-and-black envelope in the mail sometime soon.

At 10:55 PM, March 05, 2007, Blogger Houley said...

Oh man, slightly less pertinent, I also found this:

"Then the gods became angered with Chaska's pride/ And Max Kuehn ordered a decree/ With his mighty confidence/ He did order this decree/ And did thusly order unto Neptune/ That Chaska be pwnzored by a tidal wave/ The proportion of which was immeasurable/ And beyond any capability of measurement/ Thusly complied Neptune/ And Chaska was drowned in their pride."

At 11:20 PM, March 05, 2007, Blogger Tay said...

i will back jason up on that. also, if you would have asked either of us, we would have told you that was exactly how the interview would go. the princeton interview was distinctly different than both of our harvard interviews and my dartmouth interview in that it was mainly the guys saying "so... you go to brainerd... did you know princeton is amazing?" as opposed to, you know, actually asking us questions. but hey, why would you ask us? not like we know anything about applying to ivy league schools... cough.

also, wtf max. getting out here is an accomplishment in and of itself and with the amount of shit you spew daily on this blog about how amazing you are actually incredibly pretentious yourself. of course, that will only be furthered if you make it into princeton because everyone there is just a eating-club-joining douche. don't let them fool you maxwell. further, i really don't appreciate this

"I was expecting someone who would be basically a 39 year old Tay, except he's actually accomplished something, so he's an even bigger dick."

honestly max, if i printed out any one of your posts, the people here would look at it and go 'who is this fuckwad?' honestly max, get off it.

At 11:29 PM, March 05, 2007, Blogger Josh said...

man i hate myself for going to a private school, i can't even imagine the ivy. say fuck it, go the the u, get an apartment with me and sam and go on adventures.

At 12:44 AM, March 06, 2007, Blogger mayah said...

max. first, go to princeton. push yourself. it's more rewarding than you can possibly imagine.

second, tay deserves any reputation he has, and i fully support your mocking him. he should lighten up. honestly.

third, you are an asshole. but you're funny, so it's okay.

that's all.

At 12:47 AM, March 06, 2007, Blogger Houley said...

I support all the above points, with the contention that you can push yourself at the U as you can at Princeton. Your college experience will be what you make it.

At 1:59 AM, March 06, 2007, Blogger Tay said...

mayah, you knew me when i was, what, in ninth grade? of course i was an arrogant douche in ninth grade. as i said over on the superblog, most of my arrogance is a product of derision. it is akin to a self-fulfilling prophesy. if you needlessly provoke me, i'm going to get angry about it. i mean, i guess i really don't care, honestly. i mean you might think using me as a punching bag doesn't get old, and maybe it doesn't. i don't know. i think it does. but either way at some point you are going to figure it out and say 'hey, it isn't a nice thing to do.'

that's all max. you can go ahead and go for the stupid, easy laugh by calling me a douche. but at some point shooting fish in a barrel, especially dead ones that have been floating around for quite some time, loses its charm. sure, i was an ass in high school. but around the latter part of junior year, i started to figure out that hey, maybe i should stop being such an ass to people and try my best to be nice. i have a lot of people here who really like me. a lot of very good friends. i'm still as pretentious and arrogant as i ever was last year, but it is all with a nod to my own self-deprication and my socratic notion that i only know enough to know that i don't know anything.

so here is my point, max. and you can go ahead and disregard it if you like because obviously you are much smarter than i am and will always be much funnier and more well-liked. but stop being such a fucking ass to people. stop going for the easy kills simply because they are there. sure it might not make you funny, but it sure as hell will make you look more mature.

but what do i know. i'm just a pretentious ivy league dick who has never amounted to anything in life, right?

At 5:48 PM, March 06, 2007, Blogger constant_k said...

Tips for reading this blog (or really any blog):
1. Prior to reading blog, look up definition of "irony."
2. Remove a single grain of salt from a salt shaker
3. Take it while reading

At 7:49 PM, March 06, 2007, Blogger matt said...

was it dr. jorgenson? if so...that guy is amazing

At 8:55 PM, March 06, 2007, Blogger Houley said...

jorgenson doesn't sound quite right... this guy was a tiger through and through.


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