Saturday, April 15, 2006

Answer Key For Alan Hewitt's 1984 Test

I wonder if Hewitt will find this in his no doubt hourly scannings of the Internet for pirated A.P. Literature information. His retribution will be as swift as it will be terrible. I hope he does find this, just so I can gain the teacher approval I so desperately seek. Speaking of Hewitt, here's the dialouge Josh Mattson and I had whilst searching for Hewitt on prom night:

MK: Where would he go?
JM: Just think--What's the manliest place in this gym?
MK: Wait....isn't wherever Alan Hewitt is AUTOMATICALLY the manliest place?
JM: Damn, it's a paradox!

I could have spent this weekend with a bunch of dismissive, self-centered high schoolers, pantsing Sam Walker and/or eating bread in the vibrant, diverse (compared to Cameron Park, at least) Brainerd Lakes Area.

Instead, I spent it with a bunch of dismissive, self-centered COLLEGE KIDS, camping (for some reason) in the Indiana Dunes State Park and getting sand up to my earholes and a tragicomically sunburned face.

Check and mate, gentlemen, check and mate.

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12 Comments:

At 11:51 PM, April 15, 2006, Blogger constant_k said...

I used the word "Nadir" in a game of scrabble today. High five anyone?

 
At 10:07 AM, April 16, 2006, Blogger mayah said...

first, thanks a lot, dickwad. camping = something different, and the campus is dead this weekend. would you rather have sat in evanston on friday night and done nothing? another movie? whatever.

second, if you really want hewitt to find your blog, just tell graham to tell him. it's easy.

 
At 10:25 AM, April 16, 2006, Blogger constant_k said...

first, the entire city of chicago also = something different, for me at least.

second, that would ruin it. You wouldn't understand...

third, high five for sibling squabbling on a website when we're in the same 20 X 15 room.

 
At 10:34 AM, April 16, 2006, Blogger constant_k said...

well, asshole, i'm definitely not qualified to lead you around the entire city of chicago on a friday night. we could have done dinner, and then some expensive theatre outing, but we hadn't prepared. so we could have eaten and walked around. and how many times have i done that? oh, 8 billion.
also, that wouldn't have been a genuine college experience like a halfassed camping trip in the wilderness - that would have been cheap tourism, especially with just you and me. if i'd had a group of 5 friends to bring to chicago w/ us, that would have been different.
twas your choice to visit on a holiday! on a holiday, all rules are OFF.

 
At 10:34 AM, April 16, 2006, Blogger constant_k said...

hahaha that was maya.

 
At 10:44 AM, April 16, 2006, Blogger 3_the_hard_way said...

I like the use of the word "whilst" in that post. It shows that we are on the right track to graduating with a masters degree in literature, much like Mr. Hewitt.

 
At 10:56 AM, April 16, 2006, Blogger constant_k said...

First-Maya, this has gone too far.

second, that camping trip didn't just take friday evening, it ate up pretty much all of saturday, a day which otherwise could have been spent in like a museum or millenium park. No matter how many times you've walked around chicago, it would have been fun for me, as your humble country bumpkin brother, to see some of the city.

third, I love how your comment was done on the SAME computer that I myself had just finished using. This is a great way to air grievences without all the confrontational drama.

 
At 11:00 AM, April 16, 2006, Blogger mayah said...

it's spelled "grievance," and i need to get my work done. this conversation is OVER. hah.
oh, and if you wanted to do chicago, you could have said no to the camping trip.

 
At 11:26 AM, April 16, 2006, Blogger constant_k said...

You could have warned me, and your FACE is spelled grievance.

 
At 10:50 PM, April 17, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

play nice biotches

 
At 11:19 AM, April 18, 2006, Blogger hannah said...

I'M TELLING MARTHA.

 
At 9:28 PM, April 18, 2006, Blogger constant_k said...

OH FUCK ME

 

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