Monday, April 10, 2006

"In My Last Years With You...There Were Bruises on My Face..."

Many moons ago (As Razzle-Dazzle would say) The Mustache Franchise was birthed into the minds of two distinct geniuses. With intense preparation, planning, and anticipation, the intramural season was upon us in no time at all! As the hours, days, and weeks have progressed, our lives as Mustaches have come to a dramatic end. The following is a picture montage/reflection of the Mustaches final...and finest hours.

As with any Manly Mustache adventure, we began by loading up our ride...this time, however, we drove the famously dubbed "Scratched Up Lenny," or as I like to call it, the pink Neon.

With years of intense training and conditioning, the entire Mustache 3-on-3 team was finally mentally prepared.

After our quick warm-up session, the preliminary rounds were upon us. Imagine, three pressure-filled games. Lose, and you're going home. Remain make it to the playoffs...for aCHANCE at glory. The stakes: Impossible to comprehend. The prize: Legendary status among the 3-on-3 gods.

Game one: The toughest team in our bracket, the CHETS. After being down big time early, the Mustaches opened the 2nd half with an intense 8-0 run. From there, we pulled within six for the remaining 3 which time we exploded. The Janitor knocked down threes all the way from Barrows. The Chef cooked up a storm of rebounds. And constant k? He kept tally of the point totals similar to Jesus himself growing a mustache--it came naturally. Final score: 28-27, Mustaches...comeback of the century.

(Bundy and Kurt play so hard it makes Bussman's defense look lazy.)

Game Two: A team comprised of hockey players. If Verne Lundquist had announced our game, he would have used his famous phrase "OH...MY...GOODNESS!" far too much. Complete domination...and annihilation of anyone who enjoys ice. After we jumped out to a 20-6 lead within the first four minutes, the hockey players, after accusing us of being "too good" decided to forfeit. The Muslim Magic was witnessed for miles as Midas touched Kubas' right hand and turned it into gold. MM had 16 of the 20 points, and the entire Mustache team shot roughly 88% from the floor. The game was so short, we didn't even have pictures. But we did get a post-game forfeit interview--be sure to check that out in the future!

Game Three: Sophomore Hockey Players. Need I say more? Kurt nailed nearly each 3-Pointer he took. The Chef served up numerous gourmet-style alley-oops and tasty layups. And Max? He reached double digits in perhaps the game of the century. The blowout stopped keeping score after the first 10 minutes...but rumor has it: Mustaches: 61 Sophomores: 17

After 2 1/2 hours of intense action, it was time for a much needed (and deserved) break. Luckily, we found the local mustache-friendly store, "The Mustache Deli." (Although for some reason the sign read 'Mickey's') After eating quality restaurant-style food for a fraction of the cost, we met a new friend. He offered to pay us $5 if we drove him to Wal-Mart and filled his car with gas. What a fine young fellow and quite the offer indeed! Luckily, the "Scratched Up Lenny" only seats 2 people comfortably, and the 5th seat was occupied with our mustaches. So we turned him down. We did manage to get some top-secret game plans in at Gregory Park. After overshooting the basketball court by roughly 200 feet, I put it in reverse (in the middle of the road) for a "quality" parking job. Bundy was quickly intrigued by youthful memories...and we couldn't resist reliving another salute to our Italian friends.

After our break, it was time for the playoffs. Both The Chef and The Janitor were "in the zone" thanks in part to our extreme mental conditioning.

The Playoffs were startling. The first round we lost a nailbiter by (in my estimate) 6 points. Fortunately, they were the "nasty hyeinas," and with a name like that, what was expected? They were eventual champions, and The Mustaches provided some quality entertainment. The third place game? The Mustaches take down the crown! That's right folks! Third Place! Not too bad for a couple of young men...who started out with a vision...nay a dream! And turned it into our own reality. The Prizes: a FREE 12 pack of pop, a FREE small Frosty from Wendy's, and one FREE ride down the new water park. Lo! Winnings that are fit for a king! ...but inheirited by mustaches!

The day concluded with Kurt and myself "cleverly" sneaking up to the balcony. There, two Mustache jerseys were hung from the rafters for all of eternity. (And by rafters, I mean the railing. And by hung, I mean loosely placed until they would stay still. And by for all of eternity, I mean a span of one picture.)

With that, our season ends. But worry not, with a little help from Prozac and future posts, more Mustache material/propoganda will arise!

(Written and edited by MM. Special thanks to Amy for the use of her camera. A big round of applause to all the fans and supporters of the Mustaches throughout the entire season...thanks in large part to all of you, we had such great success! Future thanks to The Janitor for [hopefully] adding some visual highlights/plays of the year, and perhaps post-game interviews.)

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At 10:57 PM, April 10, 2006, Blogger hannah said...

one time when i was home i was reading your blog and my brother looked over at my computer and goes "MANLY MUSTACHES? who are those guys? i see their shirts all through school. dumb."

i just remembered that now.

At 11:16 PM, April 10, 2006, Blogger constant_k said...

Fuckin' right he sees our shirts. We sold what like 70? Ah yeah.

A manly effort on this post, Kubas.

At 9:22 PM, April 12, 2006, Blogger bundy said...

why do we have to be so fly? it's like a curse, really. i mean you've gotta call it what it is - (insert an adjective that may be cooler than the word "fly" here)

At 10:02 PM, April 12, 2006, Blogger keuber said...

in the words of matt blair,

"do we have any other choice?"


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