Friday, July 14, 2006

Jerry Bruckheimer, Eat Your Cold Black Heart Out.

Went to Pirates Of The Caribbean 2: Dead Man' Chest mit meinem Vater today. It was okay; not nearly as much fun as the first one. It felt a little too quest driven, with all the action based around "I need this or that magical object so I can give it so so-and-so and get something else I need blah blah blah."

I was distracted from the action because I kept thinking about another, very similar movie: Pride and Prejudice. Not only was Kiera "Skeletal Hottie" Knightley in both films (she looks better in boy's clothes; I think they hide the clavicals a little better), the guy who did such a good job as the creepy, sniveling Mr. Collins is in "Pirates" as a cold-blooded, power-hungry East India Company rep. He's not as good this time around, but he's still short and angry, so that's funny.

I got to thinking about how much better both these films could be if only someone had the vision to put them together. If one were to combine P+P's unerring wit and strong characters with CoP2:DMC's giant squid graphics, one would create Pride of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Prejudice. Elizabeth Bennet and Jack Sparrow fight a class-obsessed society and cursed pirates in pursuit of true love and gold dubloons.

P.S.: Live Tenatious D is pretty awesome. Thanks Mattson!

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At 2:56 PM, July 15, 2006, Blogger Josh said...

we've been sent to issue all you people here a warning

i'm not at liberty to say the details of our most peculiar warning.

suffice to say, all you people here are in grave, grave motherfuckin danger come on


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