Friday, July 21, 2006

You Will Suffer Me

I think the time has come to begin the campaign in earnest.

ATTENTION CLASS OF 2007: Your treasured memories are in danger. Forces seemingly beyond your control are conspiring to give you a class song just as lame as your class t-shirt. You can change your destiny, but only if you join me in my crusade for the greatest class song of all time. Yes, I'm referring to David Hasslehoff's unforgettable rendition of Hooked On A Feeling.


I know what you're saying. "But I don't want to have my class song be a joke. I like lots of music. Surely there must be a more serious song that lots of people would embrace!" You are wrong. There is no way we can get more than a handful of people who will support a serious choice. Our musical tastes are just too varied. You could risk it, get a few friends together and hope your 15 votes are enough to get your favorite song in. But with that plan, you risk another, slightly larger group doing the same thing. Then what do you have? Toby Keith? Fallout Boy? Gwen Stefani? The results could be too horrible to contemplate.

Believe me, I'd rather have some music I honestly enjoy as our class song. But I'm realistic enough to realize that there's no way I could get a plurality to endorse Coolio's "The Winner" as our class song. That is why a thouroughly ironic choice is our only hope.

Go forth and watch this video. You will have to agree that a performance based upon it would be the highlight of any graduation ceremony. The entire choir can be back up with the "Ooga-Chaka"s, and whoever is the main performer can switch costumes a few times (Heavy fur parka-->trenchcoat and turtleneck-->tuxedo with bowtie undone). I will do it if need be, but I think we could find a slightly more musically talented (but still acceptable) person. I don't know if Joey T has the stage presence needed.Maybe Josh Ellens? He's got the pipes for it. Here's hoping he has the....chutzpah.

P.S.: Sam+josh, how about making a better design for our class shirt? And I'm thinking I might use a Lord Of The Rings line for my senior quote.

"My business is with Isengaard tonight."--Treebeard

Labels: ,

26 Comments:

At 10:59 AM, July 21, 2006, Blogger the dain train said...

hooked on a feeling, i'm high on believing that you in love with me. too bad i'm not in the class of 2007.

 
At 11:04 AM, July 21, 2006, Blogger constant_k said...

I just watched part of the video again.

I remembered that we'll need some girls in angle costumes, a silly hat with a feather on it, spears for the choir to hold while jumping, a kick ass band to accompany the singer, a motorcycle, and hopefully a wire team.

 
At 1:04 PM, July 21, 2006, Blogger Samwalkertron said...

1. what is hte class song that these mysterious forces are pushing?
2. What is this T-Shirt that these mysterious forces are pushing?

 
At 2:05 PM, July 21, 2006, Blogger jobble said...

are you guys even gonna get senior quotes?

 
At 2:51 PM, July 21, 2006, Blogger Tay said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 5:19 PM, July 21, 2006, Blogger Samwalkertron said...

I am about to do the most evil thing ever.

 
At 5:33 PM, July 21, 2006, Blogger Hillstorm said...

Oh, sam. You are daring aren't you? I read that just a bit ago.

I'd vote for it. When do we pick?

 
At 7:10 PM, July 21, 2006, Blogger Tay said...

sam you massive douchebag. how dare you censor me like that.

 
At 7:42 PM, July 21, 2006, Blogger Tay said...

whoa, its back... good job sam/whoever you are.

 
At 8:39 PM, July 21, 2006, Blogger bundy said...

tay, shut your damn pie hole. no one cares about YOUR class cabinet, let alone our OWN class cabinet, so bring that shit elsewhere, or send it directly to max. ANYWAY, actually posting something appropriate on this thread, i have to say that it's a decent idea. i will run in the ceremony with my gun cocked and shooting if i have to listen to fallout boy at graduation. although a joke song is kind of blah, it's our only shot, and the classic love ballad, "hooked on a feeling" is pretty sweet.

 
At 8:41 PM, July 21, 2006, Blogger keuber said...

my trumpet can handle the "dun dahh duh dun dahhh" part.

you know what i'm talking about.

 
At 8:43 PM, July 21, 2006, Blogger keuber said...

"2676...2677..."

um, kurt,

15000 party?

yeah, i'm a douche.

 
At 10:12 PM, July 21, 2006, Blogger jobble said...

umm tay, I don't think most of us voted for it to smite class cabinet, I voted for it to have a funny class song... I don't get why you would really care anyways. Its not like in 20 years your kid is gonna ask you what you high school class song was, maybe they will ask you what your college one was...

 
At 10:12 PM, July 21, 2006, Blogger jobble said...

Collio's 'The Winner' is amazing max, I am listening to it right now

 
At 10:41 PM, July 21, 2006, Blogger constant_k said...

sam-
1. You know there will be people pushing their own crappy favorite song.
2. There was some voting process for an "official" class shirt in the last few weeks of school. Surprise surprise the winner was real lame. So, you make one, k?
3. Yeah, I'm going to remove tay's comment too. Mostly for his ghastly, demeaning figurative language, but also for his self-righteous, rambling prose style.

Tay, feel free to try a re-write.

 
At 11:20 PM, July 21, 2006, Blogger constant_k said...

Oh yeah 2006 didn't get individual quotes, did they? But top 10 did. Because tay quoted himself, that' right...So I can still fit in some kickass tolkien prose.

"They shall break upon this fortress like water on rock."
-Theodan, king of Rohan

 
At 1:09 AM, July 22, 2006, Blogger hannah said...

dude i didn't read all the comments so i don't know if this point has been made yet, but if you want a song you actually like for class cabinet that relates to whatever blah blah, it's possible because, i mean, ours was tonight, tonight by the smashing pumpkins and everyone was pretty freaking satisfied especially those of us who campaigned for it and kicked ass and stuff y'know? i mean, wouldn't you feel better about campaigning for a song you actually want to stand behind rather than campaigning for a song you just think you can rally the troops behind? that's kinda like being a freshman in college and being able to vote in your first presidental election and not liking either of the candidates so you vote for the one you hate less but then three years later you realize it would have just been better not to vote at all because now you're an asshole, y'know?

oh, and hooked on a feeling doesn't even really make sense for a grad song. i mean, the video is really funny but it doesn't make sense, y'know? like, final countdown was awesome because on the outside it was about destruction but as a class song it worked well and no offense but nobody will ever top that ever ever ever.

the point is: people say grad songs don't even matter after high school. i say, i still feel pretty fucking cool when i tell people my grad song when theirs is some dumb shit like "feilds of gold" by sting.

 
At 2:32 AM, July 22, 2006, Blogger Tay said...

just couldn't handle it, could you max. the truth hurts my friend. i don't like being censored, but it is 2:30 and i could really care less. the point is you read it and it felt good to write it.

p.s. get john to stop being a whipped little bitch and do the treasure hunt without ashley.

 
At 10:45 AM, July 22, 2006, Blogger jobble said...

I feel sweet when I tell people my class song and they have some stupid song like tonight, tonight.

 
At 10:51 AM, July 22, 2006, Blogger constant_k said...

What I couldn't handle was your ugly initial metaphor and inability to say something just one time. Maybe next time you should write something that feels good to READ.

And what makes you think I can control john, or that I want to? He makes a reasonable point that ashely and the girl on our team now (her name escapes me, sorry) could be switched with minimal impact.

Now you're the one who appears unreasonable, denying john just because you can, because he dared to make a humble, reasonable request that indirectly challenged your authority. So just let ashely be on doc oc, eh?

Plus, if ashley's on my team I bet we'll get some beverages or something.

 
At 3:42 PM, July 22, 2006, Blogger hannah said...

after reading over my comments from last night, i have come to the conclusion that this is what i really wanted to say:

coolio's "the winner" > david hasselhoff's "hooked on a feeling"

and also, you will easily be able to get people to back you up on this. coolio? coolio. peice of cake. it's in the bag.

 
At 1:55 AM, July 23, 2006, Blogger Hillstorm said...

I can't hold it back any longer.

Fuck you, Tay.


If you must know it was me who first brought it up and so John decided to ask.

Last time we had beverages and sandwiches.

 
At 12:01 PM, July 23, 2006, Blogger constant_k said...

(quiet applause)

 
At 1:24 PM, July 23, 2006, Blogger jobble said...

I'm glad to see people have self control here...

 
At 2:34 PM, July 23, 2006, Blogger Houley said...

So in Washington, D.C. we were walking into the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts and one of the scholars was singing "The Final Countdown." I was like, "Dude, that's totally our class song," and I could just see how much more he respected me after that.

 
At 10:53 PM, July 23, 2006, Blogger keuber said...

oh! ashley!

that's the greatest 2-liner i've ever heard.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home