Saturday, February 17, 2007

Lookin For A Hard Headed Woman

Aw fuck.

My birthday's a week from today, and I've neglected to make a birthday list until now. That's just the dumbest thing you can do in this situation. People don't know what to get you, you end up with less stuff (the only thing that really matters, after all), and it's all your fault. Oh well, here's what I've got so far.

I've put things into categories to show the rank you will recieve for purchasing a gift in a certain value category.

Premium Friend Club (Things I want but don't expect to recieve; from parents, grandparents, secret admirers):
new iPod
Wii controller+nunchuck
underarmor shirt/tights

Classy Gents (Things that are nice, but sorta pricy; from rich bastards, aunts, uncles, cousins, strangers wanting to make a good first impression):
walkman cassette player
Kapilavastu (Buddha, Vol. 1) by Osamu Tezuka
strangers w/ candy on dvd
South Park: the hits, vol 1
South Park: season 9
UHF dvd
Weird Al cds

Starving Artists (Cheap, sweet stuff; from poor SOBs, tightfists, people I don't know):
winter hat
loaf of pulla from NW+ big daddy sized Dad's root beer
Grave Digger shirt
Led Zeppelin cds
other good books, good cds

Twinkie Smugglers (Things I don't want; from enemies, Sam Walker):
Light bulbs
Cottage cheese
Poison stamps
Paper cuts

We'll see how this turns out.

And I have a sweet monster trucks post in the works, don't worry.

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At 1:11 AM, February 19, 2007, Blogger Tom said...

i would be downright impressed if someone managed to get you Bjork for your birthday. Being given as a gift just seems like it would go against her principles. And don't try to pretend that you wouldn't appreciate a naked Bjork "alarm call" serenade.

At 6:57 AM, February 19, 2007, Blogger CoachDub said...

. . . dipped in cottage cheese and heroin.

At 9:18 AM, February 19, 2007, Blogger Tay said...

i'm with tom. bjork seems like she should go somewhere up around the "rich bastard" catagory of donors... or gift givers... whatever you want to call them.

although, personally i'd rather have an ipod than bjork. just my thing.

At 12:29 PM, February 19, 2007, Blogger Josh said...

if you got bjork sam would always wanna borrow her and that would just be annoying.

At 12:34 PM, February 19, 2007, Blogger constant_k said...

Actually I was referring to any of Bjork's artistic output, not to the actual person.

I guess I underestimated this blog's readership's slaver tendencies.

At 6:36 PM, February 19, 2007, Blogger bundy said...

hey, heroine is expensive....that pussy-ass american heroine would be a bad gift, but the expensive jungle heroine would be great. maybe even some coke.

At 7:55 PM, February 19, 2007, Blogger constant_k said...

I would classify Bjork as an "expensive jungle heroine."

At 8:28 PM, February 19, 2007, Blogger bundy said...

absolutely, since "heroine" seems to be some bad ass girls rock band from seattle and "heroin" referrs to my drug of choice. what a conundrum.

At 9:19 PM, February 19, 2007, Blogger Houley said...

I already bought you Bjork... I'll just give you the gift receipt, I guess.

At 10:41 AM, February 20, 2007, Blogger Amelia said...

I have a walkman and discman you can ha


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