Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Contract This

Bittersweet news today guys.


The Lincoln is totally dead--the Mobil guys couldn't get it to turn over, so they drained the oil, which the discovered was full of shaved off bits of metal. Not an overly good sign. The next step would be to rip out the whole engine (for $200) and discover a much more expensive problem underneath.

So, it is with a heavy heart that I will soon commit the Lincoln's earthly remains to the bosom of the Pacific Ocean, which it loved so well...seriously though, it's getting towed to the junkyard in the next couple of days, after I go down with a paper bag and pull out my meager belongings.

Good-bye, Lincoln. You drank a lot of gas, but you were a good car. We hardly knew ye.

1989-2007; R.I.P.

Now, speaking of hardly knowing ye, onto the moderately shocking revelation from my father this morning. The Lincoln's original owner, the man who bought it new and drove it until he traded it in and my grandma purchased it, was none other than former used car dealer and current commisioner of Major League Baseball, Bud Selig:

Allan Huber "Bud" Selig, Jr.; Commisioner of MLB, 1998-Present

Yep, that Bud Selig. Fucked up, eh?

As I said, this shit is bittersweet. It's awesome that the Lincoln had some genuine high class credentials and connections to the proffesional sports world, but now that the Lincoln is dead, I won't be able to brag as effectively about it.

Life is tough.

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5 Comments:

At 7:28 AM, May 17, 2007, Blogger Tay said...

the bud selig thing is pretty sweet max.

and nice quotation of the big lebowski.

 
At 11:27 AM, May 17, 2007, Blogger mayah said...

ohhhhh it's easy to keep bragging about old cars. just last quarter i earned the eternal respect of my RTVF TA for being the only person she'd ever met who drove a volvo station wagon older than hers. 1983, represent. but i'd say boxy volvo owners are more united than towncar owners... just a crazy guess...
sad it's dead though. and bud selig? wtf dad, why didn't you tell us before? you'd think that'd be a selling point, not an afterthought.

 
At 5:57 PM, May 17, 2007, Blogger Josh said...

man who knows what other awesome shit is lurking at the back of your dad's mind.

but it's hard to say goodbye to a beloved car.

 
At 7:34 PM, May 17, 2007, Blogger constant_k said...

I wish it would have been connected to a sports figure who was less of an asshole.

But then, I suppose we'd all rather be driving Brett Favre's old tractor.

 
At 8:46 PM, May 20, 2007, Blogger matt said...

i would

 

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