Tipping Is Not A City In China

Alright, it's been a while since I rapped to ya, and what with my coal-miner-like work schedule and pile of homework/studying to do, it'll probably be a healthy spell before I get back and spill again. BUT I think today's experience warrents staying up a few more minutes.

So I was driving the trusty ol' Lincoln to work this afternoon, listening to my Power Loon driving mixtape (it's like the greatests songs the Power Loon would ever play, back to back to back). When I stopped at the Wise Road, getting ready to turn right onto 371, I noticed my car was vibrating; not enough to shake me around, but enough to get my mirrors really shaking. I thought little of it, but when I tried to accerlate out onto the highway, I ended up drifting off to the side of the road instead. The mighty Lincoln was dead.

With my mom on a long walk and my dad running errands, I knew that the parentals were not going to be my speediest option for a ride to work. So, I called my grandma up and described my predicament. Being a good grandma, she set out to pick me up.

Normally I would have been proud of myself for being so resourceful. This afternoon, however, Fortuna decided to screw around with me a little bit. Moments after I got off the phone with my grandma, a co-worker happened to stop, waiting to turn right onto 371, and asked if I needed a ride.

Now, my grandma is a good grandma, and I love her very much, but while I wouldn't call her a technophobe, she doesn't exactly have a subscription to Wired; nor, for that matter, does she own a cell phone. Therefore, I couldn't exactly accept another ride--my grandma would come eventually, see the abandoned Lincoln and no beloved grandson, and before you'd know it we'd have an Amber Alert on our hands. In seeking to free myself from my broken down car, I'd effectively anchored myself to it. Oh, sweet irony. I politely turned her down.

That would have been bad enough. But I got to turn down not one, but TWO more ride offers in the 20 minutes it took my grandma to arrive (she'd ended up on the wrong side of the highway; to be fair, my directions had been pretty vague.): One from Megan Saley's mom Char, a former co-worker, and another from a nattily attired Stuart Lade, dressed in his Sunday best, headed for a wedding in his olive green Saab.

Fuckin' ridiculous.