Monday, July 24, 2006

Here At The End Of All Things

I just finished watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy all the way through, and I'm just about ready to watch it again.

They've just got so much going for them. The Battle of Helm's Deep is my favorite movie action sequence, that scene where Sam picks up Frodo is the most heartbreaking/homosexual thing you'll ever see, and Christopher Lee could act his way into any terrorist organization if he chose to do so.

But my favorite thing about the Lord of the Rings is not the action, nor the effects, nor the 124 detailed characters (4 of them women). No, it is the dialouge that cemented my love for these movies. It's rich, it's dark, it's literary, and it's perfect for adding a touch of class to everyday situations. Here are a few of my favorite quotes and the situations to use them in.

A red sun rises. Blood has been spilled this night. --Legolas
Use it: Every time you see a sunrise.

My business is with Isengaard tonight. --Treebeard
Use it: Just before embarking on a nocturnal adventure.

That sword was broken! --Ghost of the Dwimmoberg
It has been remade! --Arrogorn
Use it: Whenever someone comments on something that they thought was still destroyed, but has been rebuilt.
Example: Rube:"Hey, look at Iven's On The Bay. I thought that place burned down." You:"It has been remade!"

Orcs don't use it...orcs don't know it. They go round, for miles! --Golem
Use it: When traversing or describing a secret path.

Riders of Rohan, oaths you have taken, now fulfill them all! --Eomer
Use it: When rallying troops before battle...metaphorically speaking.

They shall break on this fortress as water on rock. --Theodan
Use it: When reassuring comrades of the strength of your defenses.

Legolas, what do your elf eyes see? --Arrogorn
Use it: When someone goes ahead to scope out a situation.

What new devilry is this? --Borameer
Use it: When an already sticky situation looks to get even worse.

The dead do not suffer the living to pass! --Ghost of the Dwimmoberg
You will suffer me! --Arrogorn
Use it: When threatened by ghosts. Or if someone talks about how they don't "suffer fools ligthly."

Just start dropping these lines in everyday situations. You'll be more popular than, than...okay, I could drop some LOTR reference here, but I think I've done enough damage already.

Now here, by the shores of the sea, comes the ending of this post. Good luck, my friends.

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At 11:34 PM, July 24, 2006, Blogger matt said...

max, while i am impressed with your love for LOTR, i am disappointed with your lack-luster spelling.

Aragorn and Boromir as opposed to Arragorn and Boromeer.

regardless, i have the entire trilogy prepared for radio by the BBC. it is sweet and i should let you borrow it sometime.

At 11:40 PM, July 24, 2006, Blogger constant_k said...

Aw, go blow it out your ass.

But that radio thing sounds pretty neat.

At 12:51 AM, July 25, 2006, Blogger Johnny V said...

i can totally see tay saying some of that in day to day conversation.

At 12:06 PM, July 25, 2006, Blogger Houley said...

"you will suffer me"

and who is Rube?

At 12:59 PM, July 25, 2006, Blogger constant_k said...

Rube is any rube/boob/sucker who foolishly sets you up for one of these awesome lines.

At 1:11 PM, July 25, 2006, Blogger Amelia said...

oh max you are my hero. that orcs don't use it line cracked sam up at winnipeg.

speaking of cracking up over lines, i have something to ask you. but whenever i send you an e mail, you never seem to recieve it. so go check your facebook e mail!

At 10:06 PM, July 25, 2006, Blogger Kid C said...

Line: "10,000 strong at least" - Gimli

Use: Whenever asked about how many there are of anything.

At 10:24 PM, July 25, 2006, Blogger constant_k said...

10,000 strong at least --Aragorn

I use that one a lot.

At 10:30 PM, July 25, 2006, Blogger Sherlock said...

nuclear balloon arrows-I distinctly remember hearing "10,000 strong at least" from Johnson and Max. Pretty much amazing

At 10:32 PM, July 25, 2006, Blogger Kid C said...

That was Aragorn that said that? Did Gimli say the "how many of them are there?" part? I admittedly haven't watched any of the LOTR movies in about a year or so.

At 11:51 PM, July 25, 2006, Blogger Johnny V said...


At 12:31 AM, July 26, 2006, Blogger constant_k said...

Theodan: A great host, you say?
Aragorn: All Isengaard is emptied.
Theodan: How many?
Aragorn: 10,000 strong at least.
Theodan: 10,000?
Aragorn: It is an army bred for a single purpose: to destroy the world of men.

I've seen this movie too many times.

At 1:31 PM, July 26, 2006, Blogger Houley said...

gimli had nothing to do with it, lolz


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