Sunday, June 24, 2007

Take This Job And Love It

I know it's been a while since I rapped to ya, but the shits been raining down hard and I don't have a shit shovel big enough to shovel it all away. Most of my creative energies have been funnled into Gumshoe, the magazine Josh and Sam and Jason and John and David and I are running these days. You should CHECK IT OUT.

Work was kind of a mixed bag today. Allow me to summarize.

Cons: I got bitched out for failing to do some things I was never told to do, then I had to stay for an extra two hours, apparently out of spite.

Pros: I had a couple of sweet tables. I'm having a hard time deciding which one was better.

Table 1: A family of six, mom, dad, and four sons. They were from Lousiana, as I found out when they volunteered the information about 3 seconds after I said "Hello." They all had sweet southern accents, so I kind of accidentally fell into doing a little twang as well ("Dya want cream and suga with that?").

The kids all called me "Sir." The dad (a 300 pound man in a football jersey) alternated between chuckling at the kids' antics and offering up interesting Lousiana factoids ("You know how people from Michigan always hold up their hand and say [he points to his hand] 'We're from about here'? Well, people from Lousiana use their foot!") The mom alternated between threatening punishment and telling the kids to eat their bacon.

This family LOVED their bacon. One of the little boys sat down and said "I am gonna eat SO MUCH bacon!" in a big southern way. Everybody got a side of bacon, even the 2-year-old. One kid got an omlette with just bacon in it, with a side of bacon. The 2-year-old was chowing down on the bacon, so the mom asked me "He just loves it! Is this sugar-cured bacon?". I checked for her, and it totally was. Lady knew her bacon.

Table 2: A family of five, grandparents with a teen girl and twin 10 year old boys. The granny was picky, but the grandpa was cool, and kind of crazy and hunchbacked. All three of the kids said "Thank you" every 15 seconds whenever I was in earshot, regardless of what I was doing.

The little boys sat there and talked as loud and as fast as they could about interesting things, like why Earth spins, and how the moon was formed, and how Microsoft Vista is going to be a huge failure ("There's going to be piles of Vista in the streets, Grandma!"). I wanted to sit down and rap about astronomy with 'em.



At 12:27 AM, June 25, 2007, Blogger hannah said...

where were they from in louisiana?!?! ask them if they say AYE-EEEEEEEEEEEE because in texas they say yee-haw and in louisiana they say AYE EEEEEEEEEEEEEE

also louisiana is the fattest state in the union buts thats only because ALL THEIR FOOD IS SO GOOD FUCKIN A LOUISIANA IS A GREAT STATE

At 1:36 AM, June 25, 2007, Blogger Koreann said...

Max, I'm glad you still find time and patience out of your busy busy schedule to keep the Mustache posse informed.
thank you.

At 1:48 PM, June 25, 2007, Blogger Tay said...

i'm going to have to go ahead and disagree with you on that one hannah. louisiana can't even spell its own name right on the state map it is so backwards.

but table one still sounds like the sweeter of the two.

At 2:57 PM, June 25, 2007, Blogger hannah said...

tay, i don't get that reference.

At 7:00 PM, June 25, 2007, Blogger constant_k said...

Louisiana is actually Anaisioul, apparently.

I'd like to follow the river, down the highway, through the cradle of the civil war and go to Louisiana sometime.


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