Monday, June 25, 2007

High Definition Semantics

I was vacuuming in my house today, when my productive mind churned up a very brilliant idea: how great would it be if, instead of the standardized dictionary(a historic document epitomizing humankind's finest achievements), we had a pictionary?

Instead of defining a word by employing a bunch of more words, this dictionary would define words by using pictures.The potential benefits from this miraculous invention are endless.Most importantly, this important tool will serve all of humanity by succesfully qualifying the long-standing(but unverified)claim that a picture is
"worth a thousand words".
Anyway, here are a few definitions that would find a place in this innovation:






Nobel prize winning American author Ernest Hemingway,a drinker of epic proportions

And finally, here is a word taken right from this venerable blog's title.


And as an early warning to the unimaginative goons who might try to pilfer this gem of an innovation, I am backed by two immutable forces of the Universe:

1) The U.S. Patent and Trademark office


2) Attorney Steve Lastovich, frequently seen on local T.V. commercials

P.S. Curiously enough, the word 'glad' rhymes with 'vlad' (as in Count Vlad the third, otherwise known as Vlad the impaler, the glorious inspiration behind Bram Stoker's chilling novel, Dracula)



At 10:31 PM, June 25, 2007, Blogger constant_k said...

Oh shit son, it's steven d lastovich

He's gonna sue you for $4 mill, sucka.

At 10:34 PM, June 25, 2007, Blogger PanzerV said...

Not if i have scheck defend me

At 8:12 AM, June 26, 2007, Blogger hannah said...

A pictionary?

As in, "Hey, I bet if I looked up 'hot stuff' in the dictionary, your picture would be there"?

At 9:03 AM, June 26, 2007, Blogger PanzerV said...

That would be Max, not me

At 6:01 PM, June 26, 2007, Blogger Ghent said...

I worked on a Lastovich ad during my time at the Dispatch. Lots of photo editing to make him look less creepy.

Then, after it ran in the paper and they had sent the digital files back to him, Lastovich started using my work on like all his ads around town. Such as in the movie theater, where I first noticed it.

I feel like he owes me money.

At 6:04 PM, June 26, 2007, Blogger graham said...

uh that last comment was from me. i dont know why it says my name is "ghent". that's what my first born's name will be.

note to self: must find woman willing to have first child named ghent. also must not want diamond engagement ring.

At 3:11 PM, June 27, 2007, Blogger constant_k said...

C'mon Graham

Any woman who'll name her kid "Ghent" is gonna be one high class dame. Gonna need a diamond the size of a doll's head to reel that one in.


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