Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Hodgkin's Law of Parallel Planetary Development

My mom and I were channel surfing at about 10:30 the other night when we came across the second half of an episode of Star Trek. Both my parents, my mother in particular, were very big fans of the original Star Trek series. I haven't watched too much Trek, but a very entertaining half-hour television experience has me thinking that I really ought to watch the whole first series some time.

According the the "episode description" thing from the cable, the show concerned Kirk and Spock's mission to stop a rebel Starfleet captain who had violated the Prime Directive by using advanced technology to help a primitive society, the Kohms, in their war against another tribe known as the Yangs.

My mom and I arrived just in time to see Kirk punch the evil captain a few times, then vault over a low wall to avoid a phaser blast. Eventually, the whole group was captured by the Yangs, who resembled a bunch of blond white guys in fur shirts, talking like American Indians. At this point, Kirk and Spock made the astounding deduction that for some reason, humanity on this planet had followed a path almost identical to that it had on Earth, save for the fact that the Cold War had been won by the Commies. For you see, the Kohms were in fact Communists, and the Yangs were Yankees! At this point in the show, a tan fellow, naked to the waist, stepped through a doorway carrying OLD GLORY and the dramatic orchestra suddenly played the first few bars of the Star Spangled Banner in a menacing minor key. It was sweet.

A little later in the show, Kirk and the evil captain were both attempting to convince the Yang cheif of their own innocence and their rival's guilt (I think the preceding sentence may be grammatically unsound, but it gets the point across, don't you think?). At this point, the following exchange took place:

Chief: We have a way of telling good from evil.

My mom: Thunderdome

Chief: You will speak the sacred words. Surely the tongue of the evil one will burn when he...(blah blah blah, long shot of Shatner looking pained and confused, drama drama drama)

Kirk: Wait! Is it not also written that good is stronger than evil?

Max: Thunderdome

(Cut to next scene--Kirk and the evil captain are bound together at one wrist, standing in a circle of sand. The chief sticks a knife into the ground a few paces away.)

Max & mom: Thunderdome!

Then there was a very entertaining fight, then some inspiring patriotic mumbo-jumbo, then Shatner looking very pleased with himself as he speaks some final line about "helping them to discover their freedom" or something.

Very appropriate for the 4th of July.



At 1:31 PM, July 04, 2007, Blogger gregariousmime said...

Dude. I've seen that episode.

At 10:53 AM, July 05, 2007, Blogger CoachDub said...

I think you will find that many episodes feature bad guys/aliens who speak "like American Indians," or at least the cowboy/western movie version of the way Indians speak.

But William Shatner is a genius, which cannot be disputed.

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At 12:44 AM, January 16, 2010, Blogger araon said...

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