Tuesday, May 29, 2007

N=R* x fp x ne x fl x fi x fc x L

After a successful Lowell reunion party, including a 5-A-Day Live presentation, rousing games of kickball and check, seeing Valarie Niager (sp?) for the first time in about 5 years, and having my second ice cream cake of the day, I am understandably tired. However, I believe I have enough energy in these old sausage fingers of mine to bring you up to date on some pressing matters.

First: I will not be speaking at graduation. My sources tell me that it came down to myself and Sara Swenson, and Ms. Swenson was selected on the grounds that she spoke louder at the audition. Also, the students might have enjoyed my speech too much.

But seriously folks, I wish Ms. Swenson all the best. Honestly, I'm glad that I can just look forward to sitting around and being entertained at graduation. I think I'll bring some enormous beachballs.

Second: You can always tell when you've done a good job in filling out a survey for the Brainerd Daily Disgrace when Jason Houle, approaching you for the first time since the article has been published, greets you by yelling "You're such a tremendous douchebag!"

Here is the important part of the article:

Maxwell Kuehn

Class rank: No. 2.

Vital statistics: He is 18 and was born and raised in Brainerd. He currently lives in northwest Brainerd. His parents are Martha and Carter Kuehn. His sister, Maya, 21, is a senior at Northwestern University.

Activities: Tennis, basketball, playing Illuminati, reading comics and failing to use parallel construction.

Part-time work: Waiting tables at Lost Lake Lodge.

For relaxation: Calculus

Future plans: Attend Northwestern University, major in art history.

Most memorable high school moment: "This one time I saw Mr. Hewitt lift a car over his head."

Words to live by: "I work without a net, dangling precariously on the edge of genius and insanity, glory and despair, acceptance and rejection." - Tay Stevenson

Steve Kohls took that gem of a photo. Mad props to Mrs. Lundgren for providing me with the lab coat and a variety of sciency curios and gew-gaws.

Third: I signed up for my Freshman Seminar things today. I think I'll probably end up in the Kaplan Humanities Scholars Program thing, exploring notions of the Good Society and whatnot. In addition to that, I plan to take a German class, some Intro to Psych thing, and a bitchin' looking course called Intro to Astrobiology.

Awww yeah, astrobiology. Good times.

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At 10:54 PM, May 29, 2007, Blogger PanzerV said...

if the post title is to be trusted, life may not exist in our vicinity at all

At 9:51 AM, May 30, 2007, Blogger mayah said...

mmmmm i've heard astrobiology is miserable, actually. my friend ruben is in it - he thought it would be all aliens, but it's really not. i'll ask him if he ended up liking it.
also, who's teaching intro? and which german class are you considering? and who's teaching that? do you know about CTECs?
and yes, you're a douchebag.

At 1:52 PM, May 30, 2007, Blogger Pammy said...

all freshman seminars will come full circle.
this i am finding to be true,
even if they are on a seemingly obscure topic (such as, but not limited to, "Frida Kahlo: Life, Art, Myth").
on saturday i will be at Frida┬┤s house.
bizarre? yes.
cool? yes.
therefore i warn you: do not choose a topic you do not wish to revisit ("transsexuality", "topics in mass suicide", etc.) in the future.

At 4:00 PM, May 31, 2007, Blogger constant_k said...

Maya, to answer your questions:

I dunno, I dunno, I dunno, no

At 10:56 PM, May 31, 2007, Blogger Jason said...

pammy, the first time i read your comment, i misread your username as panzerv and thought you were tirth, and was kind of shocked to learn that tirth also had a frida kahlo fetish.

my freshman seminar was on kurt vonnegut, and now he's dead. good going, self.

At 2:32 AM, June 01, 2007, Blogger mayah said...

well dude, okay astrobiology is apparently intro to modern cosmology.
CTECs are student evals of profs/courses, they are crucial in the choosing of classes. don't take anything w/o a 4 avg. do you have a netid login yet?


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