Friday, September 28, 2007

finding a gold mine.

i stumbled upon one of the more intellectual conversations i have ever seen on blogger.

i think you could label them as two of the greatest philosophical minds to come from brainerd: jennifer dens and jason houle.

the title of the post was as follows:

"here's a thought:"

the post said:

"You can't sell a man a toothbrush if you punch out all of his teeth."

and now for 7 wonderful comments.

jennifer, 4/07/2007 10:56 PM: "but you could sell him some dentures."

houley, 4/08/2007 8:49 PM: "i wouldn't buy dentures from a man who punched out all my teeth."

jennifer, 4/12/2007 12:34 AM: "what if there was a denture monopoly? what if you sold them at really low prices? what if you punched them out accidentally because you were really going for the pinata but got his face instead?"

jennifer, 4/12/2007 12:38 AM: "wait I have more...what if he were blind and couldnt tell who knocked his teeth out? what if he were like a shark and had teeth that always grew back? what if he had the most terrible toothache in the world and you were somewhere super remote and he wanted you to take that tooth out so it wouldnt be a toothache anymore but you didnt have any tools so you just had to punch him?"

jennifer, 4/12/2007 12:38 AM: "then i guess you wouldnt have dentures either..."

houley, 4/14/2007 2:55 AM: "1) if my teeth were punched out by a denture monopolist, i would plead my case before a jury of my peers and, if that failed, publish my story either as a critically acclaimed novel with movie rights a la Erin Brokovich or else in a highly dubious left-wing pamphlet, whichever i could get, at any rate living my life in protest to the unnatural perversion of the free market system.

2) if my teeth were punched out by a denture retailer who undercut all the competitors, i'd still go to the competitors. i mean, this is like asking what i'd do if Wal-Mart came in to my house and stole all my moist towelettes. would i go back to Wal-Mart just because they sell moist towelettes for 5 cents cheaper than at Target? no, because it's the principle of the thing.

3) i suppose if i lived in a small mexican village y the local denture retailer came to my hacienda with the intention of breaking open a cumpleaƱos piƱata but instead managed to smash my face in by casualidad, i would forgive him and allow him to service my dental injuries, but he'd of course pay for them. that's just how small-town folks work, and i certainly couldn't hold a grudge against him if he were really contrite about it and offered me free dentures to make up for it, because that would just be baaaaad sangre.

4) if i were blind and couldn't tell who had knocked out my teeth, i'd certainly ask someone's advice on the matter. i mean, i'd have to get help to find someone who could give me dentures in the first place, and if i said, 'hey, let's go to this guy,' my pal would be like, 'dude, no way, he's the type of denture retailer who would smash people's teeth just to get good business. let's go to this other guy instead because i went to high school with him and we used to be on the chess team.'

5) if i were like a shark and had teeth that always grew back, why would i ever consider buying dentures from anyone?

6) as you said, the guy wouldn't have dentures. but i mean, once we got back to civilization, i'd probably buy dentures from him, if he's a good enough bud to punch my teeth out when i ask him to. of course, he'd have to be really clumsy to punch out all my teeth while just trying to punch out one of them, unless it were the case that i was like, 'hey, this molar hurts like the Dickens, punch it out for me eh?' and he were like, 'wait, there's an oasis over there,' and i said, 'no you ignorant slut, that's a mirage. it's caused by a warping of the air by heat. punch out my molar' and then because i called him an ignorant slut he got mad at me and didn't stop with the one molar but went on to the rest of my molars, and my canines and bicuspeds and incisors as well, in this case i would probably suspect he had alterior motives in his tooth-punching than alleviating my discomfort, and i'd probably not trust him on further dental issues."

houley, 4/14/2007 2:55 AM: "so i guess i should qualify that in only certain rare circumstances would i buy dentures from a man who punched out all my teeth."